Riddler
"You have to be THIS tall to eat at the Bacchanal."
Nickname:
Riddler. This originated way back when I was a teenager. In cockney rhyming slang
a "Jimmy Riddle" is a widdle, a piddle or a leak. As I drank vast amounts
of beer Jimmy Riddler became appropriate. It soon got shortened to Riddler, which
stuck. So nothing to do with Batman, sorry. Banish from your mind the thought of
me wearing a green, skintight, lycra suit complete with ???'s. I tried it once but
my wife Ali said, "Love your gear but hate your beer gut."
Occupation:
I guess I've got the perfect D.B. vocation - I own my own pub/restaurant. This was
the only way I could be sure of a guaranteed supply of the two most important things
in life.I'm the Chef so I'm permanently surrounded by, cooking with or drinking alcohol
in some way, shape or form. Dirty work but someone has to do it!
Vital Information:
Designated Drinker of:Claims to Fame:
The Isle of Man.Date of Birth:
7.4.54. Old enough to know better.Place of Birth:
Douglas, Isle of Man. We have 3 legs dontcha know!Now Residing:
On the Isle of Man. A windswept outcrop in the Irish sea midway between England and Ireland. A tabloid once described us as "60,000 alcoholics clinging to a rock in the Irish Sea." Who am I to argue? My ancestors were more than likely related to Oso's (original Curator of the Hall of Bastards) as his ancestral liver donors were of Manx origin. Everyone on the Island is related.Height:
5ft 6 and a bit.Weight:
Fackin' hell!Eyes:
Reddish green.Hair:
Not much.People that People Say I Look Like:
I've no idea. I don't think anyone ever said I look like anyone. Actually the words, "You look like shit" sound rather familiar.
Ambitions:
To make it over to Vegas for the '97 adb's drinkfest.
Alcohol Stash in Apartment (as of 5/26/97, not counting bar downstairs):
67 bottles assorted wines, featuring a predominance of Rioja's and wooded Chardonnay's.
2 bottles Moet Chandon. Various assorted part bottles of: Gordon's Gin, Armagnac,
Green Chartreuse, Grand Marnier, Glen Kella Manx Whiskey, Laphroig Single Malt, left-over
remnants of Absolut Vodka (testament to visits from Rab).
Name of Most Embarassing Ex-Girlfriend:
Melany Roberts. She wasn't really my girlfriend. I was 12 and she got one of these
obsessive things going. She used to follow me, and phone me. She ended up getting
the cane, in school, for writing obscene notes to me.
What My Tattoo Means:
It means that on my 16th birthday my drunkeness reached suprising new heights. I
awoke aged 16 and 1 day old with a swallow tattooed on my right upper arm. No recollection
of it getting there to this day! Can remember clearly, though, the effect it had
on my Dad, the first time I forgot to cover it up.
Philosophy:
I leave all that stuff to Omar Khayyam. He speaks for the two of us when he says:
Eccentricities:
Apparently I become a little unstable around the time of the Full Moon. I have been
holding an ongoing survey into the effects Full Moons have on Drunken Bastards via
the Full Moon Thread which I post each month. Sometimes
I become incapacitated and someone else posts it instead. Several significant points
have emerged, some of them quite startling but I forget what they are just now.
Drunken Stories:
"The Great Experiment"
"Herman the Hamster!"
"Jack the Kipper"
"Life Behind Bars"
"Memoirs of My Trip to Amsterdam"
"My Mate Rod, R.I.P. Sadly Mislaid to Rest"
"A Poem for the DBs"
"Rab and the Rabid Monster Dog - A True Story"
Riddler's take on "Gonzo The Barbarian - A Farce in Several Acts"
"Riddlerwulf"
"The Dangers of Abstinence -- Riddler!" by Rab
"Y'all got me drunk!"