Jaz

Jaz enjoys a liter of cider with the rest of The Vegas Cider Crew

Name:
Jason Vain

Nickname:
Jaz

Oso's Impressions from Vegas:

"Jaz and I are mates from way back (even before he met Leaf). We spent a lot of time together on IRC's #adb channel, harrassing asshuffers and generally being obnoxious. Even though we were seperated by the Atlantic Ocean and a common language (as Bradford-ese is incomprehensible to most Americans), Jaz was like a brother to me.

Jaz & Leaf desperately wanted to attend Vegas DBFest '97, but with horrendously expensive airfare, they couldn't afford it. In an act of self-sacrifice, Jaz put aside his health and drinking so that they could make the trip. 'I put in 5 weeks plus weekends', says Jaz. 'That equals 37 days on the trott and quite a few of them were 15 hour days. It was really hard and I lost quite a lot of weight, weight I'm putting back on!'

Knowing that Jaz was 'The Cider-Quaffing Knight', I decided to bring cider as my drink of choice for Vegas (36 one-liter bottles). I figured this would be more than enough to last the weekend. Then again, if I had really thought about it, I would have brought a truckload of the stuff because Jaz normally drinks cider in 3-litre bottles. Once the word was out that I had a cider stash in my room, the stuff evaporated quickly.

The really cool thing about Jaz & Leaf's stay in America was that it didn't end with Vegas! On Monday, Gonzo, the Brits, and I departed Vegas for Phoenix. For the next week, we did nothing but eat burgers (about the only damn thing Jaz eats!!!), drink at Bojo's and Thirsty Beaver, and play pool.

When it finally came time for Jaz & Leaf to go, I didn't want them to go. I guess if I can get the finances together, I might see them in Amsterdam, site of DBFest '98. Until that time, I'll be drinking cider and working on my Bradford-ese.

Jaz & Leaf's Scam to Get to Vegas:
(Because the airfare was the most expensive part of the trip to Vegas, Jaz & Leaf decided to plead their case to Richard Branson, owner of Virgin Atlantic Airways....)

"Dear Mr *Sir* Branson....

I have a fatal brain tumour and my American friends wish to say farewell to me in Vegas. They love me...Hero worship me no less. They had a whip around to buy me and my nurse Leaf (Bless her odd socks) tickets but due to their alcohol and drug problems they raised 3 dollars. So if you could please gimme 2 tickets to Vegas I would be very grateful. Your rich and stuff...actually you own the bleeding airline.. In fact, we'll sit with the fackin luggage if needs be...Gotta go...The tumour in my head is making me faint and the pain..Oh! The pain! My end is nigh!

P.s Anything with Virgin written on it is godlike!
PPs Except Spoon and Bojangles.
PPPs Gonz has had sex so he ain't a Virgin.
PPPPs Sorry to hear about your balloon mis-adventure...
PPPPPs If you don't give us tickets...Could we borrow your Balloon?
PPPPPPs Don't worry, I'll remember to untie the sandbags before we fly and not aim directly for the mountains where you couldn't untie aforementioned sandbags.
PPPPPPPs I'm Jaz from ADB fame..."

Vital Information

Age: 27

Born: To be Wild

Current Whereabouts: Bradford, England (For the time being)

Height: 6ft 2

Weight: 12 stone 5 lb

Eyes: Large and blue

Hair: Ponytailed, Dark Brown

Blood Type: Red

Health: Permanently hungover

Physical: A physical wreck

Mental: A mental wreck

Embarassing Facts:
I've got a pen and snowstorm collection. I fall over at fairs. Oh, and there's also

Phobias:
Spiders, water, heights and being sober.

Fascinating Physical Fact:
I always (almost always) have a smile on my face...and when I ain't smiling, I'm laughing...and when I'm not laughing I'm retching.

Alcohol Stash in Apartment:
None...No booze...I drink whatever I buy that night to get blind drunk.

Cryptic Sign Currently On Apartment Door:
A little sign saying "Elven Adventurer's office" (I used to write adventure games for The Spectrum...I was that *GEEK*! I'm off trainspotting!

Pet Peeve:
Flavoured condoms, Sober people, loud noises and people who whistle loudly in public.

Name of Most Embarassing Ex-Boyfriend:
Never had a boyfriend.

People Say I Look Like:
"That drunken bastard from the pub the night before" is what people say I look like. (Really?) Oh and Tom Cruise....

Quote of the Moment:
Drink Heavily! Drink alot! (As said on TV)

Jaz's Strategy For Picking Up Women:
Asking them if they "Wanna shag" (Note: I'm happily with the most beautiful woman in the world...Blargh!)

Has Been Arrested For:
Not saying, as they've never caught me yet and I fully intend to continue getting away with it.

Favorite Beer:
Hate Beer...Favourite Drink is Cider.

Favorite Weapon:
My Choad.

Jaz Loves:
ADB Newsgroup, Sleeping, Horror Films, Leaf, Pool, Fleetwood Mac and drinking till I drop.

Hobbies:
Drinking, Pool, watching films and having sex.

Mating Call:
BLARGH!!!

Life's Ambition:
Get married and live in a nice big house in a nice quiet area, live
comfortably with loads of Booze to get well drunk ever night and be really happy!

Philosophy:
No I don't smoke...thanks anyhow.

Read About:
"DB Construction Public Limited Company"