Name:
Rob Machado
Nickname:
Gonzo
Vital Information:
Designated Drinker of:Raison De Etre:
Tempe, Arizona (Oso has Phoenix-proper)Born:
5/11/67, West Allis, Wisconsin. Turned 30 the same day as Rob Fagen did.Current Whereabouts:
Sitting in front of my computer, drunk off my ass.Physical Description:
Looks like Drew Carey with long hair.Hair:
Long, curly, sandy blondeEyes:
Hazel
Fave Drink:
Diet Sprite, chased with Gordon's Citrus vodka.
Alcohol Stash in Apartment:
You won't believe this, but I don't have the major stash in my apartment that you
may think I have. I have right now: two 1.75 litre bottles of Gordon's vodka (one
of which is almost gone), some assorted rums and a bottle of Dalwhinnie (which are
Oso's), some port and brandy,
a small bottle of Gusanos Mezcal de Oxaca which I will
never drink because of the ugly sediment at the bottom (which the worms are living
off of), 3 bottles that I brought back from England and which can not be purchased
in the States (Smirnoff "Mule", Southern Comfort "Craw Daddy"
and "Street Car") . I go to the Safeway about twice a week, so I keep my
supply stocked from those trips, but I never have more than 2 bottles of http://drunkenbastards.org/ in
my apartment at one time.
Number of Shot Glasses:
7: four Avalance/Aftershock, two Hard Rock Cafe (Vegas), and one Arizona Cardinals
Favorite Bar:
Well, it *used* to be the Thirsty Beaver, which is about 5 minutes walking from here.
Great happy hour prices until 7:00pm, but they have gotten stingey on their orders,
so I don't go there anymore. I have not found a suitable replacement as of yet.
What My Tattoo Means:
I have the infamous PIPP
tattoo. It means that I'm a drunken bastard.
Cryptic Sign Currently On Apartment Door:
A faded, computer generated sign that reads "Salespeople and religious representatives
are NOT welcome".
Occupations of My Two Former Girlfriends:
Julie is a cop in Las Vegas. Erin is a Captain in the U.S. Army. Do I detect a trend
there?
Phobias:
Boy, you guys are going to think I'm a real neurotic after *this* one. #1: Afraid
of heights. #2: Deathly afraid of pools, lakes, oceans, baths, etc. Showers = good.
Bodies of water = bad. Exception to that is that if the body of water is small and
there are other people in it and I'm drunk, I can deal with a hottub. But never a
pool or lake.
Pet Peeve:
Hair on my soap, even if it's my own. I'm very anal about that.
Former Pet Peeve:
People calling me Gonz. I used to hate it! I have a real name, damnit! But, now that
I have been called it by so many people, I have gotten to like it.
How You Know Rob is Drunk:
...when he says,"Oh fuck. I can't feel my lips anymore."
Life's Ambition:
"To be able to retire at 50 and drive around the U.S. in a Winnebego."
Second Ambition:
"To be able to be the ATF chief on the ADB island. Of course, Oso
will be cleaning my gun, so to speak."
Philosophy:
"If ya drink, you're my friend. If you don't, you're an asshuffer."
Fascinating Physical Fact:
I am a great whistler. I do a fantastic dove impersonation, and my tongue allows
me to do trills that even piccalo players would envy.
Drunken Stories:
"DBs in Vegas"
"Gonzo The Barbarian - A Farce in Several Acts" (by Darsy)
"Ooh, that reminds me..."
"The San Francisco Party!"