I have just competed an experiment done entirely for the greater good of the newsgroup. I subjected myself to 14 dry days. This was a harrowing experience and I wouldn't suggest that anyone tries this at home. I thought that as one of the more mature ( chronologically speaking, that is ) members of the group I could report back on the advantages of regenerating ones liver etc. My findings were thus:
1. No manic highs or melancholic troughes - Yuk!Conclusion: There is no conclusion really. You have to draw your own. I would advise it for any spacemen/women who wish to return to earth younger than when they set out and that's about it! I stumbled down to the bar this morning after after drinking 7 varieties of malt last night. My eyes were red, my tongue was furry. I was dizzy, nauseated, confused and altogether back to normal. Everyone said how much better I looked! That sums it up for me.2. Always knew what I'd done the night before and where I'd been. As this was invariably boring I didn't want to know anyway.
3. Every single night Ali (my wife) said "Why don't you have a drink, dear - you look a little peaky."
4. Time slowed down. Einstein missed this one! My fortnight lasted somewhere in the region of 2 years in relation to everyone elses. I visibly aged by the same amount. I was mistaken for Rab's father for God's sake. Enhanced effect possible here owing to him having been incredibly drunk during the same period so some reversed effect on him. He was probably only aware of a day or two passing by. Or he may have been aware of nothing. There is no way of knowing.
5. Diminished sex drive. Here's a thorny issue. Medics would have us believe that alcohol diminishes the urge. This may be true at the time of overdose but the morning after... . anyone else notice this ? After 2 weeks of abstinence I may as well have became a monk which may account for point #3.
6. I became obsessed with trivia. At one particularly low point I was asked what day of the week it was. I was able to supply the day, date, moon phase, my name, number, rank and 7 different sauSes containing Stilton. The enquirer walked away sadly shaking her head.
Riddler
....off for a drink.