Darsy wrote:

Gonzo The Barbarian - A Farce in Several Acts.

Darsy has presented this as a pseudomythical story but as with so many myths and legends it's origins are based in reality. In our family rumours abound to this day about the exploits of our two ancestors, Riddler the Red and his brother Robin o' Grope .

Apparently, during a dearth of mead, this pair of wandering wastrels determined to leave The Isle of Three Legged Men. They had heard that the streets of Londinium flowed with wine. Posing as a pair of fish merchants this perfidious pair of rapscallions gained passage to England. After many misadventures they were eventually convicted of Witchcraft but escaped and joined the Crusades. Our Family Bible has it thus:

"Ye Puce Riddler and Robbin o' Grope were found to be in the company of drunks and barbarians. They did cavort and prance to the tune of The Beast with likeminded diabolic demons. In the grounds of a notorious tavern there did they sacrifice. Upon their heads were found the conical head dress of the Warlock. Men at arms took them from that place after "The Fire of The Blazing Abacus" alerted the Witchfinder General. Before they be broken and burnt they escaped with demonic help"

Family legend has it that Riddler the Red and Robin o' Grope were in fact rescued by their accomplices, Darsy of Oir-Land and his wench, Sheriff Dal and Mistress Leaf, The Good Sir Jason, Gonzo the Barbarian and Paddy of Upinsmoke. Family tradition holds that they were innocent and all went to fight in The Crusades to clear their names. They took with them a wandering scribe known as Binkus Incorrectus. It was his persistent and eloquent pleas of innocence (by pigeon) back to Londinium that eventually led to charges being dropped.

Some say that The Good Sir Jason developed a desire for all things fleshly and a thirst that could only be quenched by becoming Pope and this seems likely.

Gonzo the Barbarian took a band of like minded souls and fair maidens and invaded an Island which he made his own. History does not record its name. Paddy of Upinsmoke went with him as his charioteer.

Sheriff Dal and Mistress Leaf returned to Londinium and were regaled with honour. They were known as a goodly couple who kept a goodly house.

Darsyof Oir-Land and his wench became gentle-folk and lived to a ripe old age with nary a stain on their character.

Riddler The Red succumbed to Wine Fever after a Surfeit, this despite repeated warnings from his apothecary.

History does not record what became of Robin o' Grope. Some say he went to Arabia and was pummeled to death by an irate harem. This is not verified.

Binkus Incorrectus continued his wanderings and became an Infidel. He was eventually discovered by Sheriff Dal, chained and manacled, in Dal's own dungeon. The kindly Sheriff released him and made him a Freeman of the hamlet of Londinium, on the condition that he made his way back to the cells each night for his own good.

Riddler
... phew..any resemblance to any person etc etc blah blah..
Darsy, we want more!!!