alanh





Name:
Alan Whatshisname (does it matter if no one can spell it anyway?)

 Designated Drinker of:
Port Elizabeth, South Africa

 Vital Information:

DOB:
August '69 in Port Shepstone, South Africa

 Currently Resides In:
Port Elizabeth, South Africa

 Physical Description:
(Alan motions with hands to try to physically describe 6'4" male, bloodshot brown/green eyes, dark hair, 200 lbs, without spilling his beer)

Alan's Advice for People New to alt.drunken.bastards:
As for taking things the wrong way, there's an easy rule to follow: If it is written in fairly good or even completely drunken English and doesn't end in a form of worship or AA indoctrination, then its probably best taken with a beer in hand and enjoyed.

 If it is in good humour but offends, merely reply along similar lines. Basically don't 'huff and you're safe. Oh yeah, and only flame Joel or Oso if you have 5-wood-proof headgear.

 Cheers
ALAN - Leading the blind with both eyes behind his back.

Quote of the Moment:
"You give much too good a blow job to be my cousin..."

 Past Quote of the Moment:
"What a lovely start to the 10th, a message from me bruv saying 'Happy birthday, you fuck, you puked in my car, come and clean it!!' I wish I could remember what a good time I had."

 CC's Completed:
"Can't remember exact details but been present during 3"

 Favorite Beverage:
"Beer - It never tastes like chicken"

 Hobbies:
"Hangover recovery"

 Been Arrested For (no convictions):

Public indecency
Public intoxication
Personal Philosophy:
"Any place, any time, any how"

 Life's Ambition:
"To survive my own autopsy and really surprise a few folks"

 Drunken Stories:

"Advice on Turning 21"  "Banks, Beers and Other 'b' Words" 
"Buying Beer For Teenagers"  "Civilized Drinking in Uncivilized Places" 
"The Dating Game"  "DBusiness Trip" 
"Easy Way to Make Wine?"  "Feeding Time" 
"How do You Make a Beer Pyramid?!"  "I Did WHAT?" 
"The Knightmare After Xmas"  "Me, Alcohol and Fire" 
"Nothing to do with Lemmings"  "Puke as an Art-Form" 
"Who Done It?"  "Worst Bar Bathroom" 

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