Date: 28 Dec 96
We've all been there the morning after any Xmas - Waking up and trying to find the answer to a sudden nagging question: Why are all the people around me dressed funny and speaking French?; What is this zebra doing in my room and why is it smoking?; If I went out dressed as a man, why am I wearing a bra?; If I went to the family reunion party alone, why is there a woman in the bed next to me?
Well this year was a bit different; I awoke around lunch time and was surprised to find everything seemingly in order. The clothes were spread evenly from the door to my bed, the goldfish were still safe in the bathtub, there was nothing unnatural in the bed, all the messages on the machine were slurred and made no sense (thanks Leaf) and the bread van with the satellite dish was still parked over the road. Then it struck me, thousands of people, all dressed in suits, walking past my window. Rub the eyes, scratch what was itching and look again: No, they were still there, white shirts, black jackets, all carrying brief cases and not one looking even slightly hungover...
My bloodshot eyes slowly traced their general path and there it was, the size of a bloody Coke billboard: 'Jehovah's Witness District Convention' at the sports ground right next door. How could I have missed that or had they put it up during the last four days I had spent wasted?
Not much time to prepare but I know what to do: Load the nearest porno on the video machine, relocate the beer can pile closer to the door, wear only a dirty t-shirt and underwear and wait for that doorbell to ring...
Have a drunken New Years while I wait for entertainment to come to my door.
Cheers
ALAN