Don Guido

They call me Guido. Don Guido.

Brad Warren described Don Guido as "the surprise maniac of the weekend", an assessment which matches mine. I had seen him on the newsgroup and during Century Clubs, but I didn't know the man behind the nick. "I had never really heard of Don Guido before the Vegas trip,"says Brad, " and within 5 minutes of meeting him, we were chugging Rum & Cokes and Jaegermeister and yelling "Arrgh!" and "Aye!" at any and all passersby. The man was truly a long lost sibling."

As a member of the NippleSex Gang and Vegas Cider Crew, Don Guido certainly accounted for a great deal of the drunken mayhem during Vegas DBFest 97. Whether it was at Battistas, The Bacchanal, or Binions, Chad was constantly chugging booze and yelling DB cheers.

Don Guido, I'm proud to call you my brother in Cider. May you drink forever!

Born:
Once. Well, there was a time way back when where I used to go to church. Did that whole "born again" thing. And then there was a sort of drunken rebirth with Tribe ADB. Ooo... and you can't forget the 1997 Drunken Vegas Tour. Anyone there sure can't be the same person as when they went. So I guess that makes four. Four times.

Details:
Geneva, Illinois (USA). December 12, 1969 at 2:55am. Blood Type B+.

Ethnic History:
No clue. I was adopted a really long time ago, and haven't bothered to check out stuff like that. I've been told that I look "Mediterranean" a couple of times. Whatever that means.

Appearance:
Varies. The only thing that doesn't change much is my height. Which has been reported to me as anywhere between 6' 1" and 6' 3". As of 09/01/1997, I weigh in at about 220 pounds. This number seems to increase every time that I play beer golf. The hair is dark brown, but looks lighter because it gets some gray in it when I let it grow out much. Oh - my eyes are brown when they're open. Actually I guess they're brown when they're closed, too. I've never looked.

People Say I Look Like:
Actually, no one has ever said that I look like anyone else. Except for this one guy, Andy. We were on a trip with a bunch of other kids and everybody used to get us confused. Someone even brought back some pictures that they made into slides. The last picture was me standing in the ocean off the Yucatan wearing a wide straw hat and sporting a week old beard. I thought it was him.

Education:
I finished a two year degree in just under seven years. Beat that.

Current Residence:
Well, I have an apartment in Charlotte, NC. I usually spend about 10 days a month there. The rest of the time I'm on the road for work, which sucks. But it does allow me to visit lots of strange and exotic places. Well, Sidney wasn't that exotic. And Lancaster is strange, but not really in a fun way. I guess what I mean is that it lets me travel around the country and meet up with a bunch of drunken folks like yourself. And that is fun.

Regular Quotes:
"ARRGH!", "Cider!", "Woohoo!" and pretty much anything pirate-like.

Mating Calls:
"ARRGH!", "Cider!", "Woohoo!" and pretty much anything pirate-like.

Alcohol in House (09/01/1997):
1.75, Gordon's Vodka (1/3 Full); 750, DeKuyper's Peach Schnapps (Almost Full); A Splash of Jose Cuervo Gold; Two-and-a-Half Fingers of Grain Alcohol.

Lucky Number:
12. I was born on the 12th day of the 12th month, and the number 12 always shows up in weird places like my phone extension at work or the number of my soccer jersey. Now that I think about it, it just shows up a lot and doesn't seem to have much to do with luck. Although I was 12 when I received my first blow job. Maybe it is lucky.

Goals:
Goals don't work for me. Life is good. Why fuck it up?

Favorite Drink:
While it varies with the phases of the moon as well as the amount of spam in the newsgroup, I really have a craving for white russians quite often. Other than that, Cider ranks high as well as most any good beer. I'm not big on many hard liquors, but if someone brings a 1.75 to the table, I'll help 'em drink it. Any drink that stands taller than I am while I'm lying on the floor is good too.

Hobbies:
Brewing a highly alcoholic beverage that is not unlike Kahlua(tm). Cooking. Eating. Meeting other DBs. NippleSex(tm). Wandering aimlessly through employee parking lots during extremely hot weather. Standing in the rain. Preferably with someone special. Who is naked. Imagining that I might one day know someone special. Who is naked.

Arrest Record:
Blank. Luckily there isn't anything wrong (at least legally) with copious amount of body hair being displayed in public places. Maybe it's only when not accompanied by loud drunks that it becomes a problem.

What I Dream About Most Nights:
Nipples.

"Can We Play Through?"
"Don Guido's Account of Vegas DBFest '97"
"Just what the hell is NippleSex?"
"Not all Italian restaurants are created equal..."
"Thanks for Manhattan"
"The AA Subway Conspiracy"