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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z ? !

You've never heard of [Pennsic]?...It's a great war, the loser gets to keep Pittsburgh.
-Mary Monica Pulver, The Unforgiving Minutes
Like a ski resort full of girls looking for husbands and husbands looking for girls, the situation is not as symmetric as it might seem.
-Marc Unangst
Look, you granola-munching earth-shoe-wearing liberal FREAK, it has everything to do with California.
-Marc Unangst
What's even more amusing is that apparently there was some sort of flame from Amy, but I never got it. Thanks, best.com!
-Marc Unangst
You realize, of course, that it snowed in Pittsburgh yesterday. Fuck you.
-Marc Unangst
It is crap. It is nothing but crap. It is only crap. It is purely crap. It is the worst kind of pandering magnetic hernia truss multi-level marketing to make you rich beyond your wildest dreams by tomorrow without so much as a lick of personal inconvenience crap. It is Lotto crap, Publisher's Clearinghouse crap, hollow Earth crap, Heaven's Gate crap, teleevangelical crap, diversity crap, thinner thighs in 30 days crap, other-ablement crap, learning disablement crap, Virgin Mary on a taco crap, War on Drugs crap, eat oat bran crap, breast enlargement cream crap, buy the Brooklyn Bridge at only a tiny fraction of its true value crap, 1000-year old ginseng crap, 5000 yogic floaters to cleanse the world crap, free energy crap, anti-gravity crap, hot young girls waiting for your call crap, psychics hotline crap, never change your engine oil again crap, interpret your dreams crap, sure-fire horse betting crap, Superman squeezing a lump of coal into a blue white and perfect fully facetted 290 carat diamond crap... ... Peace Dividend crap, pacification crap, peace in our time crap, Pacem in Terris crap, Limits to Growth crap, Whip Inflation Now crap, I am not a crook crap, nucular engineer crap, I didn't inhale crap, Health Care Crisis crap... ...Workers' Paradise crap, Democratic Republic of [you name it] crap, Save the Earth crap, Furbish lousewort crap, clothe animals to hide their genitalia crap, N-rays crap, Krebiozen crap, amygdalin crap, smart drugs crap, cosmic consciousness crap, orgone energy crap... Why don't you buy several sets? You might be able to match up a pairing that works. Think of the money you will make!
-Uncle Al
Current American thought has its underpinnings in the past 30 years of bad TV.
-Gabe Underwood
Handcrafted with pride in the United States by non-exploited, entrepreneur- type craftspeople who ride their bikes a lot
-Gabe Underwood
I'm one of those anti-social computer people. If they can't send me email, well, you know...
-Gabe Underwood, on women
Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars I thought, 'Where the hell is the ceiling?'
-Chris Unger
Bad decisigns will yield bad results, even if improved mechanisms were to insure that they are efficientiy achieved.
-United Nations Association, "Words to Deeds: Strengthening the U.N.'s Enforcement Capabilities"
Unix has been feverishly evolving for over 20 years, sort of like bacteria in a cesspool, only less attractive.
-from Unix For Dummies
Unix doesn't have a philosophy, it has an attitude.
-from The Unix-Hater's Handbook
The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.
-John Updike
Got your resume polished? Well, print it out and send it on cow-spotted paper to Gateway 2000, now that President and COO Richard Snyder has left the land of milk and honey to head up a new venture fund in Massachusetts. Picture yourself with the hilarious Ted Waitt exchanging side-splitting lactose intolerance jokes, while your competitors drop their PC prices every 15 minutes.
-Upside
Sun's latest JavaStation will be equipped with an accessory from Citrix Systems that allows users to run Windows applications. What is the world coming to?! Its senses, maybe.
-Upside
We lie to you by not telling you things. We don't lie by telling you things that aren't true.
-U.S. official to Wash. Post
Go not to UseNet for counsel, for they will say both 'No' and 'Yes' and `Try another newsgroup'.
-usenet rule #17, net.legends FAQ
Yet terrible as UNIX addiction is, there are worse fates. If UNIX is the heroin of operating systems, then VMS is barbiturate addiction, the Mac is MDMA, and MS-DOS is sniffing glue. (Windows is filling your sinuses with lucite and letting it set.) You owe the Oracle a twelve step program.
-the Usenet Oracle