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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z ? !

a scene is a collection of sexual references that masquerades as an art support group
-anonymous
After decades of careful research on the possible uses of the Internet, we were still unprepared for anything as pointless as IRC.
-anonymous
ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD AIN'T WORTH SHIT WITH MY FIST COMING FOR YOU.
-anonymous
All the surrealist stuff with naked women, with a few exceptions, gets me really angry. So much of it is obviously, 'Let us look at naked ladies while pretending to shock you by exposing your mind to the naked breast!'
-anonymous
And it's not development's fault--the corporate management infrastructure seems to have worse checks and balances than a pre-school lemonade stand.
-anonymous
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. In bed!
-anonymous
art and science are the same basic fabric, just in art you tend to arrive at important developments without the need for documentation on how you got there
-anonymous
But, of course, both you and I know that our words our meaningless and we only speak them to hint at the dark and deranged undercurrent, which can never be named.
-anonymous
By the way, you must be in a furry. The beginning of your sentense does not read properly.
-anonymous
Call his bluff. If you're lucky you'll get to see his entire life flashing before his lies.
-anonymous
Dear L. L. Bean, please rename the color choice for mens' boxers to something other than 'cream.' Many thanks.
-anonymous
Delaying Win 98 would be like throwing sand in the anal lubricant. It would not change anything, just make it a bit more painful for Gates and the customers preparing themselves.
-anonymous
Do you suffer for your ART? Then try Andre Breton's "PAIN BE GONE"
-anonymous
Everybody who's vested is too busy lighting cigars and tipping hookers to comment.
-anonymous Sports Illustrated editor after AOL/Time-Warner merger announcement
executive summary: fuckers. all of 'em.
-anonymous
eYe aM kn0wn t0 uTher 16 yeaR 0ldz aZ thEE eMUl8r
-anonymous
Getting involved with an artist seems like a phenomenally bad idea. It's like me getting involved with women who are into computers. Or movies. Or anything. Fuck. Hate. Misogyny. Sugar balance. Babble.
-anonymous
Hey, if Shawn were here, everything we said would wind up on graffiti.quotes tomorrow.
-anonymous
I am a nice guy and I'll kill any motherfucker who says anything contrary
-anonymous
I am gayer than a cocaine tupperware party
-anonymous
I can see it now: Our drives will give you the capacity to continue to store all that old data in addition to all your new data. The new Segate Information Buttplug 1 terabyte drive - the data goes in, but it never comes out. "The constipation of success"
-anonymous
i dont know how to tell you this, but here goes. i have an aol account. i hereby relinquish any claims to defense against hatred from you on the grounds that any such hatred is fully justified and that receipt of such hatred was previously consented to as a part of the aol membership agreement. in order to ease the transition of my status from "loved one" to "total shmuck," i have enclosed this picture of a broad fisting herself. god bless the internet.
-anonymous
I don't know what my problem with women is.. I've tried getting bigger shoes, but it doesn't help.
-anonymous
I feel so... dirty... I'm currently using DOS, instead of my old faithful Linux, and I really hate the standard DOS font. I feel like a cheap whore. NO COMMENTS
-anonymous
I had more thoughts over the weekend but I forgot them because they were at a party and I was busy staring at some girl's legs.
-anonymous
i have a persistent object...in my pants!!
-anonymous
i have my doubts that the evening will wind up with us together unless ... the first words out of her mouth are "i" and "apologize" in that order
-anonymous
I just saw my insurance rates pass before my eyes.
-anonymous
i suffer for art. or from it, rather.
-anonymous
I take all major forms of death.
-anonymous
I understand women, I just don't give a shit.
-anonymous
I wasn't looking for 'Mrs. Right', or even 'Mrs. Right Now', but more for 'Mrs. Right Here Buddy'.
-anonymous
I would except that the bitch that stood me up last saturday is also in possession of my copy of why I hate saturn, which is suprisingly appropriate in an ironic sort of way. Women suck.
-anonymous
I think that's reason enough to go BeOS and give up Linux. How much sex does the average Linux user get? I just did a poll of Be developers I know. They get a lot. I don't think it has anything to do with sex appeal though. It has to do with time. Linux users sit and play with themselves while recompiling their kernel. Be users leave that job to Brian "no-dual-Celerons-TYVM" Swetland at Be and spend the quality time with their wives and girlfriends. Linux may be hot now, but without adequate procreation of its vocal supporters, it will be a footnote in a generation.
-anonymous
I'll believe *that* when I see it. None of this Deep Blue v. Kasparov shit [...] A computer can run around doing all sorts of tricky sniper shit, but until it has the cajones to jump into the pit with nothing but a shotgun and start taunting the other players to come get it, it's still just a bunch of ones and zeros that need to be bitch-slapped.
-anonymous
I'm not homophobic, I'm just intolerant.
-anonymous
I'm smart. Take my pants off.
-anonymous
I've heard of 'meat loaf'--but let me ask you--what the hell is 'butt loaf'? Is that something to go with the tossed salad that the other bathroom scrawlers are always gobbling about?
-anonymous
If I wanted to sleep with someone that effeminate, I'd be heterosexual.
-anonymous
it's finals time here [...] and consequently i have heard the phrase "academically ass-fisted" more times in the past 24 hours than you could possibly imagine. i'm presently taking a break from reading feminist theory, which is sucking my chi right out of my body. if i have to read the word "problematic" one more time, so help me, shit's going down. this chick is rambling on and on about all these types of feminism: standpoint theory, marxist feminism, socialist feminism, liberal feminism, radical feminism, feminist empiricism, and everybody's favorite, postmodernism. i propose a new kind of feminism: machete feminism. here's how it works: all cute girls sleep with me. all assholes are eliminated via machete. i become the ruler of the world, spreading joy, love, peace, and sex toys across the land. violence, poverty, hunger, and fake orgasms are eradicated. all weapons of mass destruction are locked in a small spacecraft with ken starr and sent somewhere very far away. "kicking and screaming" is shown on tv every night, and there is a 24-hour x-files channel. i get wavy gravy ice cream and footrubs whenever i want, and i never have to read another word of this self-serving pseudo-intellectual masturbatory drivel for as long as i live. rise up [...] and fight the power.
-anonymous
It's not pedophilia, they're not underage. I mean... ummm...
-anonymous
It's only premarital sex if you're going to get married.
-anonymous
It's so embarrassing when I'm always right.
-anonymous
Looking at these prekies, I can just feel my Kinsey score dropping...
-anonymous
looks like i can't make it. i'll be in one of the eVENTfUl meetings of the soRt that wE CAn't say much sPecIfic abouT. everyone be sure to eAt a Lot of sushi and wish me luck.
-anonymous
Maybe 1 percent. The one percent shall hereby be named 'angst'. As in, 'I met a really nice piece of angst today'.
-anonymous
Men are always whining about how we're suffocating them. Personally, I think if you can hear them whining... you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow.
-anonymous
[Microsoft Java]. Yeah, "Write Once, Run Anywhere as long as it's Windows". Which is better than the Sun VM: "Write Once, Run on Solaris because none of the other ports really work.", or better yet, MRJ: "Write Once, crash your Mac." And let's not forget Vibe: "Write Once, bend over."
-anonymous
my ethics teacher, on the other hand, is one of the best impersonators of a hamster pumped full of crack in the world. who wins? me.
-anonymous
My testicles actually grow in size every time I drive that fast.
-anonymous
Never read James Joyce while sitting on the toilet. It will forever distort your ability to go to the can.
-anonymous
No, I was given negative access rights to the directories because I zephyred an email message to a guy ten seconds before it got to his mailbox.
-anonymous
NT is like AIDS. Everything looks great, and a couple of years later you realize you've got serious problems - the price you pay for screwing around.
-anonymous
Oh, btw, if I said or did anything out of character, or accidentally embarrassed/angered/molested anyone -- I blame it on the liquor and drugs ... oh, and Moose, of course, just because. Then again, I was out of town on business.
-anonymous
scalable enterprise ennui for the new millenium
-anonymous
She gave him a lot of shit about birth control being wrong with God, but apparently God and her had talked it out and He was OK with her fucking her boyfriend in the Laurel Mall movie theater or getting plastered and blowing him in front of everyone at a post-game party.
-anonymous
Shouldn't we try and rise above our evolutionarily determined urges, especially when they're nothing but meaningless, wasteful exchanges? Nope. Well, unless you want to never get laid. See figure 1.
-anonymous
So, as you can see, our aggressive self-promotional policy of sitting on our asses is paying off handsomely.
-anonymous
Sometimes I really hate myself for being so judgemental. But not today.
-anonymous
Suicide? Actually that would be really ironically funny, because my roommate's best friend committed suicide this summer, and if I waxed myself he'd just flip.
-anonymous
SWM seeks intelligent SWF for pointless sexual relationship. I'm bitter, jaded, and hate the outdoors, but don't let that stop you since I won't value your opinion anyway. Call me, and save the money you would have spent on dinner and a movie.
-anonymous
SWM25, snuff fetishist, seeking SWF18-25 for short term relationship.
-anonymous
Ten thousand people in this damn school and I get a stupid fat Greek with poor taste in music who lives across the hall and thinks he's a headbanger.
-anonymous
That's just some bullshit that they insist that I teach.
-anonymous CMU professor
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
-anonymous
The great thing about homophobia (logic flies out the window and begins performing stunts somewhere near the math department offices) is that once you've decided you hate gays, you can then decide that someone you don't like is gay, and have a reason to hate him other than that you are an imbecile.
-anonymous
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
-anonymous
The irony is that we subtly contribute to this by helping to build network and organizational infrastructure which supports a highly networked economy. We think we're doing better because our salaries go up and up and up when in fact we spend more and more of our income at... amazon.com. Translation: less money now than when I was flat broke.
-anonymous
the preponderance of such elevated and obfuscated text is clearly indicative of my ass
-anonymous
The problem with relationships is not so much when the bloom is off the rose as when the broom is off the lose.
-anonymous
The real problem with MS is that their CEO is a devoted asshole to the third degree.
-anonymous
There is but one lesson you must learn, young one: Do what you want. Of you don't know what you want, then do nothing, and call it Zen. Don't bother attempting to get subcultural insights from someone who believes in subculture. The emperor wears no clothes, and the Way cannot be seen. An old and wise Sybase on the hill.
-anonymous
This is it. Billions of dollars of development in computers and miniaturization technology, all so I can have Jenna Jameson and a cheap knock-off of "The Bard's Tale" in my pants.
-anonymous
Today storm Animus rocked California, Nevada, Massachusetts, and Washington, DC. "It looked like a giant maelstrom of hate," said an eye witness, after we gave the lameass a script. Scientists are still arguing about how the storm managed to cover such a diverse geographic area in such a short time. Experts suggested Netscape, Windows 95, or news about Bill Gates as likely factors, as they've been seen to motivate storms in the past. However, Dr. Buttmunch said, "We've analyzed the pattern of the storm, and preliminary reports are there was no computer angst involved in its formation." His colleagues find this laughable. This just in: several federal buildings have been leveled! However, none of the national monuments were damaged. Reports that two small children named "Banks" were seen gleefully flying over DC have been attributed to urban myths about the fictitious character Mary Poppins. Fuck. That ended happy. I can't even rant well today.
-anonymous
23.8? that's dangerously close to the fuzzy-animals-event-horizon.
-anonymous
We asked him to explain it to us again, and we still couldn't understand what he was talking about, so ignore what he says and write about what we explained - we're the ones grading it anyway.
-anonymous CMU TAs
We do dangerous drugs, and pass the savings on to you!
-anonymous
We will kick anyone's ass who gets in our way. Please do not misconstrue this as a forward looking statement. I am not an insider and have no knowledge of any ass kicking that is being planned or any as-of-yet un-announced kicked asses. Any ass kicking I mention is purely a representation of my opinion and is not intended to influence the opinions of any investors or potential investors.
-anonymous
Welcome to Vasa-Zine! The only online magazine for humans, by humans. Well except for that day when those apes took over, but I think we have that problem under control now.
-anonymous
Well we have established that Chris wouldn't touch me with a six inch pole. Which is a good thing, because I hate Polish jokes.
-anonymous
WILL YOU PLEASE IMPALE YOURSELF THROUGH THE HEART ON MY WOODEN STAKE, GOTH BOY? CHECK ONE: YES NO
-anonymous
Woohoo! I fucking *love* people like that. I love the squishy sound their heads make when I stomp on them.
-anonymous
Wow, that's a great quote! I think I'll write it on my wall, for everyone to see how deep I am!
-anonymous
You do not understand hate. You do not hate *something*, you are full of hate or not full of hate. Generally, if you are not full of hate you are dumb. Generally, if you are full of hate you are also dumb. Generally, you are dumb.
-anonymous
You know why last night was cool? Last night was cool because I got to say "I have firewall-1 in my pants and I'm not happy to see you"
-anonymous
You misunderstand. I'm not a sexist, I'm a misogynist. I don't have anything against any of the _other_ sexes, just women.
-anonymous
You're about as accurate as an archer in a centrifuge.
-anonymous