Okay, Oso. It's time to admit the truth: At Da Thirsty Beaver, I went into the rope-a-dope and let you pummel away, and you still didn't land a decent punch. The way *I* remember it, you were soon gasping for breath and pleading for mercy, while I was just getting ready to start punishing you with long-range jabs.

Sounds to me like it's about time for a rematch!

Me, Oso, Dave, and Tom (Dave's friend from Los Angeles) just got to the Thirsty Beaver, after just eating at Los Dos Molinos. Many shots are drunk, and Tom is buying these really exotic drinks. We end the night by taking a few shots of Jagermiester. Oso and Dave enter the ring, and here is the play by play:

[Announcer]: OK, the stage is set. Many drinks drunk, and our contenders enter the ring. On your left, hailing from Austin, Texas, with the blonde hair and wearing the button-down shirt, the visitor, Dave Kelleyyyyy, Kelleyyyyyy. And, on your right, from right here in sunny Phoenix, sporting a funny little mustache, weighing in at, Oh My God, can this number be accurate? Weighing in at a lot, and wearing the black shorts with the Ruger P89, He's fast with the booze, there's no way he can lose, he's fast with the shots and can sure drink a lots, with a record of 20 wins and 3 passouts, 2 of them Technical Passouts, he's the one, the only, El "Mucho Grande" Oooooooosssssssssoooooooooo, Ooossoooooo. There's the bell, and they're off.

They circle around each other, almost staggering. No, wait, they are staggering! This is incredible action, ladies and gentlemen. Oso feigns a punch, and Kelley throws one. Smack dab in the kisser! Oso's down! Is the fight over already? Here's the count. 1........2.......3.......4..... No wait! Oso spings up again like someone who has had 4 Beef and Chunders and has almost finished a CC! 5......6...... Oso's up and taking the mandatory 8 count.

Ok, the 8 count over, they go back. This incredible clash of the titans continues. Punches are thrown, bodies clash, the floor shakes. More punches are thrown. All of them are missing! They fight almost as bad as Americans play pool in London! Incredible. No, wait! The referee breaks them up! Oh, ladies and gentlemen, this is incredible! The referee has called this a no contest because neither one of them can come close to landing a punch! They are missing by a Riddler-searching-for-chips mile! The match is over! Never before in DB boxing has a match been called within the first thirty seconds!

The opponents stagger to their corners, and the stagger is not from the punches thrown! The crowd's booing turns to a roar of disgust as the opponents leave the ring to settle this outside. Once outside, the rumble continues, but this time they are both doing the rope-a-dope, throwing little girl punches and trying not to fall down. El Oso Grande decides he has to pass out (yet another TPO), and he wanders back to the announcer's apartment, only to land up in the apartment complex next to the right one. Boy, this man is really punch drunk. Dave "the Rope-a-Drinker" Kelley and his manager, Tom, pile into the cab off to their luxury penthouse hotel room, and thus the story ends.

I think a rematch is in order!

Gonz

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