From: gazza beeves <gazza@gazbi.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: XXX
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 1997 23:38:55 +0000
sorry but this time of nite , fuked outa skull and all that
i had 2 say .......
Hmmmmmmm wot was it ,....... i.,,,,,,, fak it i kant rem !
in fak 4 get it completelyyy , wot , Hmmmm ,
bet i dint rem this, dont , cant reach the del ,key, Hmmm
can ony c the post butttono ,push me , irc , fak it ,l8r
From: Dave_Kelley@spamfree.ha (Dave)
Subject: Re: Hey....
Date: Thu, 27 Mar 1997 09:34:18 -0600
I think it's you. Last time I was in N'Awlins, I managed to harass and embarass the guy who used to play guitar for the Alarm; pass out in a doorway while waiting for the GF to show up at the hotel; convince a guy that the best way to keep *his* GF from running off with my buddy was for all of us to go to a live sex show on Bourbon St.; pass out in another doorway; and much, much more, all in the space of two nights.
From: alanh@iafrica.com (alanh)
Subject: Re: sorry - drunk posting
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 97 09:39:19 GMT
Editor's Note: This is from an IRC conversation.
[DISP-#adb][Sir_Dood] i got no beers
[DISP-#adb]<alanh> you got draino?
From: Ratboy <rats@pond.com>
Subject: Re: I'll probably be cut off tomarrow!
Date: Thu, 27 Mar 1997 15:19:08 -0500
It was an old girlfriend . She stuffed me in there ,cause she was sick of my drinking. But the scratching sound of me scurrying around kept her awake at night, so she let me out. I'v e ahd a major fear of small spaces and sobriety ever since.
From: LandS@thehalls.dolphinet.co.uk (Jaz)
Subject: Re: fuck everybody (and where's the Cidar?)
Date: Sat, 29 Mar 1997 22:50:53 GMT
You couldn't get laid flat on your back wearing flares at a skinhead convention!
From: Ratboy <rats@pond.com>
Subject: Re: Disturbing commercial
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 1997 18:44:57 -0500
Editor's Note: This is in regards to urinating while in a moving truck.
In a pick up truck? No. I did try it (once) in a car though.
While I was drving.
Not much of it made it into the bottle thoough. The rest was absorbed by my pant leg.
Like I said, I only tried it once.
From: Liam <saiga@concentric.net>
Subject: How bad was the hangover? Ooooh, Shit!
Date: Tue, 01 Apr 1997 06:31:04 -0800
To get back to the original topic, I did drink, as it was free, to great excess. I made my way home in some fashion. I flopped into the house in front of my wife prostrate and helpless. Made it to bed. Woke the next morning with the HANGOVER FROM HELL. It was one of those that cause one to vow that never will another drop of alcohol pass ones lips. After a while I decided to try hair-of-the-dog. I barfed. It took 4 days before I was able to drink my normal allowance of beer. FUCK! It was 2 days before I could eat without puking it back up!
Shit, I had a great time! I plan to go back again soon!
From: Dave_Kelley@spamfree.ha (Dave)
Subject: Re: drunkfood?
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 1997 18:47:27 -0600
Depending on whether you're alone or with somebody, drunken cooking at 5.00am can be either a major drag or enormous fun. If you're solo, stick with whatever is fast and easy and won't set the house afire if you forget about it and go to sleep. Stick with microwavable stuff.
If you have company, then by God, crank up the stove and pretend you're the Drunken Gourmet(tm).
On one of our first dates, I got the GF all liquored up, then brought her home to witness my kitchen-related brilliance. Only I didn't really have much stuff in the house worth eating. No worries. I opened a couple of bottles of Merlot and pointed out the fridge filled with beer, and this kept her distracted long enough for me to come up with an on-the-spot menu.
Harkening back to tales of fry-ups, I got the biggest skillet I own and got it smoking hot. Then I filled the thing with butter. (BTW - butter smokes like hell if you heat it up too fast.) Then I started throwing in everything I could find. Some crawfish boudin, some asparagus, some mushrooms, a few jalapeno peppers, a couple of eggs, an onion, some garlic. Then I got cocky and started flinging the skillet around to stir everything up, sending up huge flames everytime I sloshed the melted butter out of the pan and into the fire, forcing me to dump my beer on the stove to douse the flames (and giving me an excuse to open another beer). After everything was pretty much crispy-fried, I dumped it onto a plate and poured the leftover butter on top. Then I reheated the pan and added even more butter. (I should point out here that my toaster wasn't working.) Once the butter was melted and smoking, I started throwing in slices of bread, frying it up into butter-soaked toast. The bread soaked up the butter pretty quick, so I had to keep adding butter.
By the time I was finished, there was splatters of butter and various foods all over the kitchen. The stove was covered in beer. The meal had something like 15,000 grams of cholesterol; 45,000 grams of fat; and 192,500 calories per serving when washed down with a 22-oz. bottle of Rogue Red Ale. It was a drunken dream dinner, and I give you all the recipe in hopes it will make you as fat and happy as it made me.
From: Rob O'Connell <oconnell@patrol.i-way.co.uk>
Subject: Re: drunkfood?
Date: Sat, 05 Apr 1997 10:30:27 +0100
Hmmm...drunken foods...
I remember a party at a friends house...they were busy cleaning
everything away - getting rid of the carpet etc ready for the nights excesses...the
fridge was also emptied to prevent food catastrophe - except for some
mouldy bread, some margarine and some frozen peas....
you guessed it - later on that night someone was seen eating a frozen pea sandwich.....
From: jimdrinkin <JIMPRZY@worldnet.att.net>
Subject: Re: IsThisReallyNecessaryHere?
Date: Mon, 07 Apr 1997 08:54:28 -0700
If you hold an empty beer mug to your ear, you can hear ther brewery.
From: rob@rabcn.demon.co.uk (Rab)
Subject: Re: Normal sevice...
Date: Wed, 09 Apr 1997 14:22:28 GMT
I broke it to Christine gently, before we got home from the Airport. I
started by saying 'About time we got a new living room carpet' This
was my way of telling her that the existing carpet was full of burns &
unfarmiliar stains, that were not there two days previously. Her reply
was 'Don't tell me, you had a few parties, & the house is wrecked!'
Errmm, funny you should mention that....
From: "Bradley" <joe@microsoft.com>
Subject: Re: Sambuca
Date: 8 Apr 1997 18:56:33 GMT
Since my team had started coming back I had decide to drink to whatever
I could and ended getting good and wasted. During one of the last shots I
did for the night the bartender had come over to pour and started
commenting on my drunken prowess. As he did he poured Yager all over the bar top.
As his arm swiped down with rag in his hand to mop up that blacken heavenly
ooze, I reached out like a ninja and caught his arm mid-swipe. Grabbed a
couple of coffee stirrers with my free hand and preceded to slirp up all of the
tumbled liquid whilst holding his arm high above my stooped head. I popped up to
a round of applause from my bar-brethren and was awarded a free shot from
the bartendar. One of my most glorious moments.
From: "Mark Mathu" <mmathu@ix.netcom.com>
Subject: Re: Drunkards are the future
Date: 10 Apr 1997 06:18:10 GMT
Yes, we drunkards hold the future in our hands... let's try not to spill beer on it.
From: "Tagger" <tgeary@cts.com>
Subject: Beer
Date: 11 Apr 1997 02:45:51 GMT
Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
From: jwilliam@digmo.org (Birdman Brews)
Subject: e: public service announcement
Date: 17 Apr 1997 16:20:45 GMT
Brravo, Brravo! Jolly good show! I've still been wondering why people world-wide hate hangovers, closed doors, smo'ores, lion roars, dirty pores, expensive stores, Coors, computer crashes, 100 yard dashes, being out of cashes, gender bashes, credit card debt, a lost bet, what we get, not being able to get on the net, empty beer cans, being beaten by pans, full trash cans, being spammed, and any damned thing else to otherwise take us away from our scheduled programming. (phew!) Keep the sails up, start the pickup truck and let's load this heap of trash and take it to the dump. (why people hate all kinda shtuff).
From: Dal
Subject:
Date:
Anyways, after reading the group I went to let myself out of Paddy's flat.
He has a communal entrance and some asshuffer had put the mortice bolt on
the front door. I got out of Paddy's flat but couldn't get out the front
door and couldn't get back into Paddy's. It took me an hour to wake the
drunk up!!!!!! He said he thought someone was hammering nails in!!!!! Ah
well, no one ever said being a drunk was easy.
From: chrisf@uniserve.com (Canadian)
Subject: Re: Call yourselves pissheads????
Date: Fri, 25 Apr 1997 18:02:05 GMT
"Drunken Bastards. They drink more before 4:30am than most people do all day. The few. The proud. The drunks."
From: Jane & Chris <greenpea@interlog.com>
Subject: Re: mendicant
Date: Tue, 29 Apr 1997 18:37:56 -0500
Oh, so true. Do you ever say to yourself "I didn't have enough fun last night to warrant this kind of a hangover!!!"
From: alanh@iafrica.com (alanh)
Subject: Re: Well it was funny at the time...
Date: Tue, 29 Apr 97 06:12:04 GMT
I guess if I am to have company around for dinner I'll firstly have to get back into that whole personal hygiene routine and while I'm at it I'll probably have to get some earth-moving equipment in to do something about the pile of laundry which quite soon will require aircraft warning lights.
From: Leaf <Leaf@leafy.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Oh, oh! Jaz has done it!
Date: Sat, 3 May 1997 10:18:06 +0100
I definately want a contract on my Bruv. I got my phonebill and it was
£129 for just 1 month. £60 more then it should be.
So my wage went into the bank and I was overdrawn even before I could
say "Suck my ciderpole"
--
Jaz
From: Leaf <Leaf@leafy.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Alcoholic Milk?
Date: Sat, 3 May 1997 11:16:29 +0100
I'm worried about the new craze of Alcoholic milk that it will encourage young kids to drink. The last thing I want is one of my kids to wake up with the MilkShakes!!!
Jaz - Honk! Honk! (Not listening to Radio)
From: jkirkman@minspring.com (Jack Kirkman)
Subject: Re: Sniffing the cork from a wine bottle
Date: Wed, 28 May 1997 04:40:47 GMT
Piss, you're supposed to bite the damn cork, and taste the facking wine through it. *Then* snarf all the wine down as (in)discreetly as possible.
Don't recommend this with the facking [umbilical] cord, though...
From: simonb@windsor.igs.net (zzsimonb)
Subject: Re: We should all give.
Date: Sun, 01 Jun 97 09:12:44 GMT
Living with jaz, this idiot would be force fed cider, and that hopefully would cause him to repent, and see life how it really is, through the brown glass of an empty bottle!
From: William Dodd <wdodd@lamar.ColoState.EDU>
Subject: what's with all the porn?
Date: 8 Jun 1997 14:48:23 -0600
I've got to go. Alanis Morrisette is singing live on MTV. She is so damn cute.... I didn't realize Hungarians were so damn fine. -And don't correct me by saying "Canadian" -her parents were refugees from hungaria.
Damn, I am piss drunk. %Time for a nap/
From: chris@cpres.co.uk.remove this (BiNKy)
Subject: Re: NG'ps for Drunkards are a waste of time
Date: Mon, 16 Jun 1997 13:43:14 +0200
ADB is indeed a rare phenomenon in the world of alt. newsgroup hierarchies in that they, (ADB'ers) have the dexterity to get totally shitfaced and communicate with their fellow drunkards simultaneously. Being drunk doesn't predispose an individual necessarily, to living in a vacuum. My theory on this is that the mental agility required to post offsets the alarming death of brain cells brought on by chronic alcohol overindulgence as a lifestyle.
From: kevnjon@aol.com (KevNJon)
Subject: That was WHO drinking cider at the pub?
Date: 16 Jun 1997 00:06:54 GMT
As I was enjoying my Harp, four Brits came into the pub and lined up behind me to order their drinks. I paid them no attention until I heard one say, "So, Jason, what'll you have?"
"Jason" responded, with a sort of Northern English, Liverpudlian inflection, "A pint 'o cider, mate."
I nearly fell off my bar stool. Good God, I thought, that 'tard really gets around!
From: Jaz <Jaz@vain.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Party Tricks
Date: Tue, 17 Jun 1997 21:55:59 +0100
Scott is intent on trying to piss Kev off.
My loyalty lies with Kev.
Kev is a true DB who deserves respect on this newsgroup.
Scott adds nothing to this newsgroup and flames anyone he choses when
the desire comes upon him.
The newsgroup has had a bad patch for the last 6 months, now we're all blending together again. We don't need shit from Asshuffers.
From: Jaz <Jaz@vain.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: getting sloshed
Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 19:38:32 +0100
I never get on the quote page! :(
From: Jaz <Jaz@vain.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Who makes the strongest Beer?
Date: Tue, 24 Jun 1997 18:44:54 +0100
I'd hate to ask for a dopplebocks when pissed.
Barman I'll have a roppelrok...
I mean a riplefack...
Erm bobblesocks...
Fack it...Gimme a cider.
From: pvp@ix.netcom.com (Pleaj)
Subject: Re: Drunken party tales, dealing with spammers.. what a weekend.
Date: 26 Jun 1997 00:00:38 GMT
That's true, I suppose, but the hangover I had today was vile. I felt like throwing up until about, oh, five minutes ago. I am never having malt liquor after hard liquor again... Especially on an empty stomach.
From: xxxjoel@bway.net (xxxjoel)
Subject: trashededded
Date: Wed, 25 Jun 1997 18:34:20 GMT
trashed on margaritas and some beer...cool buzz going...probably will puke and then listen to some heavy metal...I sound likd reilly... drink,..and asdf thhe New York style for hth3ereh rest snk.''
From: oso@amug.org (Oso)
Subject: Re: Why is beer better......?
Date: Fri, 27 Jun 1997 01:05:32 -0700
> Why is a beer better than a woman?
Because you can throw a beer in the dumpster and not face criminal charges?
--
Oso
Wghat dio i win?
From: dont@want.spam (h-son)
Subject: Re: getting sloshed
Date: Sat, 28 Jun 1997 03:47:26 GMT
Actually, I have to agree. I bet baboons can make more interesting conversation than some people I've gotten drunk with. At least they'd talk less bullshit.