Subject: Strangebrew meets the Law and show it his Ass.
Date: 10 Jul 1996 19:01:52 GMT
The guy [cop] on the mountain bike tried to phyche me out. He said, "we are going to charge you with publik drinking" I informed him I hadn't been drinking. "I can smell the liquour on your breath, son.", he kindly informed me. "I drink Before I walk, officer." He just glared.
From: palme@earthlink.net (Steven Palmer)
Subject: Father of the Year Award
Date: Thu, 11 Jul 1996 19:28:04 -0400
A brief clip from a Yankees Game:
Getting drunk in the stadium and paying very little attention to the game (I think baseball was any slower it would be farming, but my ticket was free)there were four of us in a row. Sitting in front of us was a Guy with a kid about four or five. He was carrying beers back to the seat for him and his buddy (no, the kid wasn't gettin' one)and *fumble*! The little kid caught a full 16oz. cup directly on top of his head, completely soaking him.
Conversation that followed:
Kid: Daaad, why are you an ALCHOHOLIC!
Dad: Shut up. Remember how you got here.
We laughed for the rest of the game. Definitely worth the free tick.
From: LandS@thehalls.ftech.co.uk (Dal & Leaf)
Subject: Re: Alc
Date: Wed, 10 Jul 1996 08:16:43 GMT
Graffitti in pub toilet: "You don't buy the drink here, you only rent it"
Quote from Leaf "I hate being the middle person"
From: djkelley@mindspring.com (Dave Kelley)
Subject: Re: Dal's CC
Date: Sun, 07 Jul 1996 18:06:33 -0500
The date shows up, I can barely talk. She sizes up the situation, slams a couple of quick beers (chased by a couple of tequila shots), then demands we break into my supply of Merlot. I'm helpless in the face of her argument - "Give me wine or sleep alone," she said - so we go through a couple of bottles of red with dinner.
From: alanh@iafrica.com (alanh)
Subject: DBusiness trip - part 1
Date: Wed, 17 Jul 96 20:31:09 GMT
Seizing this rare opportunity, I motion to the airhostess and inform her that I could easily rid them of vast quantities of cumbersome beer and make this flight a lot safer for all concerned, to which she replies "Sorry sir, we don't serve drink until we are airborn." Obviously she mistook my perfectly understandable English for some alien code and I was forced to reduce my instruction to monosylables which was surprisingly met with compliance. Having secured something liquid refreshment, I released the hostages and returned to my seat.
From: Jaz <Jaz@vain.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Long Time No See, Y'all
Date: Thu, 18 Jul 1996 19:44:58 +0100
That's abit harsh Oso, I think REHAB is a great game, I'm stuck on Level 9 and can't get past the undead flesheating rum drinking nuns...
From: Jaz <Jaz@vain.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: BRITISH v USA drinking contest
Date: Thu, 18 Jul 1996 20:15:47 +0100
Remember! It's not how much you drink but how much you enjoy drinking...
From: clancy@imap2.asu.edu wrote:
Subject: Re: uh-oh,a newbie
Date:
Nopt to temptt fate, but whatever happened to this missing pice of
kitchen untesilery:
knivf
qfork
saladf fork
Oso
who me,t someoen tonight who admits to likinmg Hootie
From: chrisf@iceonline.com (Canadian)
Subject: Re: FBOFW: Elizabeth Drinks Beer!!
Date: Wed, 24 Jul 1996 15:46:45 GMT
That's because beer is a dangerous "gateway drug". Can't you fools see that EVERYONE who drinks beer becomes involved in more dangerous drugs? Heroin, codeine, pennicillin, tetracycline, the list goes on and on! Stop the insanity! Drink enough beer that you won't *need* other drugs.
From: chris@cpres.demon.co.uk (Binky)
Subject: Re: FAQs ???
Date: Mon, 29 Jul 1996 10:44:03 +0000
Those *widgety* things they put in cans - who came up with that idea? The blurb on the can tells me it'll taste like draught beer from the pub. If I wanted beer that tasted like it came from the pub, I'd go there. I want beer that tastes like it came from the off-license. I don't want a bunch of shit at the bottom of a can taking up valuable space. I know about Archimedes Principle and all that shit and I know when I'm getting ripped-off.
I'd like to meet Mr. Widgety thing, and smack him in the mouth...
From: cwparker@orinoco.alve.com (c. parker)
Subject: Re: technophobia
Date: Sun, 28 Jul 1996 22:10:14 GMT
i think i know what your problem is. (i'm a computer professional, so you
can trust me. i've got a degree and a job and everything. well, everything
except a life, but that's another story.)
your problem is probably that you're forgetting to get your computer drunk
too. see, it gets upset when it knows you're getting sloshed and fondling
it. rather like some women - they don't seem to like it much when you get
plowed and start pawing at them when they're not plowed themselves.
so here's what you do. get a computerdrink(tm) funnel from any of your
neighborhood geek stores, attach it to one of your disk drives (pref. the a
drive) and pour in some alcohol as you drink. goldschlager (sp?) works best
because the gold helps conductivity in the computer. i've found that my
computer is NOT fond of champagne, but i'm not sure if this is a general
trend...
From: subbotin@lpi.msk.su (Alexey Subbotin)
Subject: Re: bar a go go
Date: 1 Sep 1996 19:00:28 GMT
I ve gotta drunk. Hwo does tell me about the future?
Nope, ther3 is nobody here but Reelly Lambert (do I correctly
wriote who's who?)))) Newer mind that igin you'd supposed
to drink, there ia *russain vodksa* yes it is!!
From: Jaz <Jaz@vain.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Dal sets the record straight!!!
Date: Mon, 2 Sep 1996 20:13:14 +0100
I for one will not be getting drunk or acting in any form of drunken behaviour.
From: Liam <saiga@concentric.net>
Subject: Re: Drunken surgery
Date: Fri, 20 Sep 1996 17:00:17 -0700
Everything was set, mirrors, angles, etc. But after the first tug on my vas differns, I just concentrated on not screaming: "You fucking bastard butcher!".
From: bwarren@eecs.wsu.edu (Brad Warren)
Subject: Re: OKTOBERFEST!!!
Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 01:20:54 GMT
Damn, I'm off to McDonald's to swipe straws and make a Really Long Straw.
From: Jaz <Jaz@vain.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Cooking with Semen
Date: Mon, 30 Sep 1996 20:37:50 +0100
I'd like to draw a point that probally no-one will raise, Malloc missed out on his Squid which is no problem as he had booze to drink. His friend had a blowjob and the hooker had a semi-night off. So what is my point? The facking Squid! Poor thing gets hooked and kill, gets fried on a pan and finally it died in vain as it gets spunked on. And you think your life is crap!
From: Sully (brewlawz@napanet.net)
Subject: Re: Should I ever say when?
Date: Fri, 18 Oct 1996 09:35:13 +0100
Don't forget, Sully cuts his contingency fee to 25%, as a drunken bastard courtesy discount. Free beer consultation (send me free beer, and I'll consult with it).
From: djkelley@mindspring.com (bdk)
Subject: Re: Dave "share the moment" Kelley
Date:
As for Greasy Tony's, after Oso and I ran up a $75 bar tab in three hours at the pool hall (that's when the bartender complimented our drinking ability) I couldn't have cared less where we ate. Although I will say again that if I'm going to eat drunken midnight dinner, I like doing it in a restaurant that lets me use the TV remote to flick back and forth between the Golf Channel and the Hardcore Pornovision Network.
From: chris@cpres.demon.co.uk (BINKy)
Subject: Re: Back in town
Date: Sat, 19 Oct 1996 06:23:40 +0100
In truth, I often failed to find the on/off switch on the 'pute. That was before my *invention* (pat.pending). It's a pre-production, Heath-Robinson affair with a rather complex gears/linkages mechanism, topped off with a zeon strobe light at the operator end for easy visibility.it's a bit distracting and in yer face once you're successfully booted up, but you learn to live with it. Any db's interested in the production version, which will have a more modest LED display and play a selection of popular favourite tunes, please contact me, I need the backing, My last sponsor pulled out, he said "You're a crazy drunk fuck, and... <drone>...
From: Jerry (jerry@stuartmc.demon.co.uk)
Subject: Re: Is it just me...
Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 18:38:55 +0100
As an infrequent visitor to ADB I've always regarded it as something akin to my local pub. When you walk through the door there's the usual cheery bunch of drunks - Jaz, Paddy, Dal & Leaf, Riddler and Co. leaning on the bar - more than happy to exchange a joke or a few words with a stranger and in my humble view thats what ADB is all about. On the other hand - ALS is a vitreolic poisonous place. It is populated by people who, generally speaking have an extremely negative attitude to life. I do not feel that there is any basis for a 'mind merge' between the two groups and would be very unhappy to see the ALS brand of nastiness becoming the norm on ADB.
From: bwarren@eecs.wsu.edu (Brad Warren)
Subject: Re: wintersucks
Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1996 05:15:32 GMT
Ayee and welcomed back tya sqeuasks ya drunsks, opnly you understand me ya
drsdunks. basd typsiusts unitee!!! ya drseunsk. mussst be tehr rumm.
Aye VACTAPAIN. YA fukkr tya matery AYEE!!!! drunksxxb
i say drtdunks assdb tya fukks. no son #adb ircdc ya fukks tso i do itr
ehrere now,. shotsdf oon a terhurdasay nite ant 10psm/ fukdxdit. i
lasove ti!!! anddsys halloceween padersty tonmorroiw and we alla be
tehrer.
locvetly cue abd ffusskkkin s[ppocide aciot ata ya aye ya dreunsks./
we lovce aya.. fdont ever stdsp[. ciders fors ya, aJAz. tish ca[tain's
for you. drinky tedo the Jaz tontierd, straight xsshoitds biatcfch! But no
psuked on scoott cartpet tonitght. no stain tore notghin thankjd to anbdys
carete celarner, worjksd like a cshram
NO UK/US conveetipon til i relovcate to the Bay area, dammit. i wannsd be
there. Ayee. we havvit a tm my place
tehrye ya go, my joint. happrtty?? in drhte ba ya rea. iffggn i vgot cadsh
i mighr even helep buyt ticdket. 97 biascth!!! we be tehre. drunakrdsd.
thasis is all.
From: rob@rabcn.demon.co.uk (Rab)
Subject: Re: My Shit Day (with a few saving graces)
Date: Sun, 27 Oct 1996 23:05:16 GMT
On putting myself to bed I managed to wake everyone in the house, they took great pleasure (they=mrs Rab) in telling me how I could not get my leg out of my jeans, I apparently did three laps of the bedroom on one hopping foot. I eventually woke slumped against the foot of the bed at 09:00, swore at Mrs Rab for letting me get into such a bad state.... She did here usual "fuck off". Can I blame her?
From: rlamber1@kent.kent.edu (Reilly Lambert)
Subject: Re: poopie
Date: 27 Oct 1996 22:15:44 GMT
dorms just suck in general. I puked hard last night. happpy halloween.
From: bwarren@eecs.wsu.edu (Brad Warren)
Subject: Re: new stuff - Leaf
Date: Thu, 31 Oct 1996 10:33:44 GMT
Along similar lines, i got a limerick:
A Darsy, on curry he nibble,
during a CC told me "Pierce your nipple!"
So I flamed up a pin
and with a shit eating grin
shoved it in, and now see the blood dribble.
From: alanh@iafrica.com (alanh)
Subject: Re: DBusiness Trip II - We don't need no steeenkeen transport
Date: Sat, 02 Nov 96 07:15:29 GMT
Far as I can tell the secret to happiness can be found by following a few simple rools. Firstly drink, and drink regardless. Don't drink to forget things or to make them go away and don't let drinking become the problem. And then learn the magic words: 'FACK IT!!!' There are only two types of problems: Those you can solve and those you can't. So solve those you can and say 'FACK IT!!' to those you can't. Oh yeah, and then drink some more.
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