The 2nd ADB quote page

From: Sondra Halperin <shalperin@symantec.com>
Subject: Re: My weekend...
Date: 30 Aug 1995 19:03:50 GMT

*Then* I decided to take matters into my own hands. While Sharon sat moping, I grabbed the first cute guy I saw and said, "life's too short. I just want you to know I think you're an attractive man." He grabbed my hand and pulled me on the dance floor and I spent the next hour whirling around with a guy who referred to me as his "almost wife-to-be who lives in California"! Sometimes you have to make the most of a situation. :)

From: hdavis@datarace.com (Harold Davis)
Subject: Re: Worst beers?
Date: 1 Sep 1995 17:54:12 GMT

I'll bet none of you guys ever drank Efes (that's how it's spelled, as I recall), a tasty blend of hops, formaldehyde, and sewer water. This is the most widely sold beer Turkish beer, and I still can't figure out why. Maybe "cheap" has something to do with it.

From: erdahl@gladstone.uoregon.edu (Erik Dahl)
Subject: Re: Grain alcohol, mmmmmmm
Date: Thu, 31 Aug 1995 18:20:32 -0800

whats the apparant aversion to drinking 95% straight?

its great stuff, very tasty.

maybe sortof like jumping from sauna to ice bath except the other direction and from the inside out. or maybe not

regardless, take care, don't guzzle it.

From: grayjj@mail.loop.com (grayjj)
Subject: ALL THAT BEER
Date: 2 Sep 1995 01:06:59 GMT

Sing a song of sixth sense
a bottle full of rye,
all my 9 and 20 years
have come and passed me by.

From: lombardo@cnj.digex.net (Noreen )
Subject: Re: My cat puked on my comforter...
Date: Mon, 04 Sep 1995 12:48:29 -0400

I have never gotten the cat drunk. I am against giving animals alcohol, and against blowing smoke at them. However, what he does on his own time is his own business.

From: hutchingsr@wcsub.ctstateu.edu
Subject: <None>
Date: 13 Sep 95 01:55:55 EST

errr like hi and stuff
i 2would likev to wish you the very bbbest.

i think that all you drinkeningf gastrards are he he best peol [lel in the world.

oh listen.... my band is playing CBGB's onb OCT 1. PLEASE show up if ou can

er...... hello?

vickie?

mom? is that ou ?

From: dave <Dave@fryup.demon.co.uk>
Subject: one bottle of Jamesons
Date: Sun, 17 Sep 1995 01:11:03 GMT

Am I qualiefied for a dB?or to be a db,I donnt cannt shotds.
its vbottles!how many shotsin a boottle?
bastarfd newcastlw.

From: jason vain <jason@vain.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Denied lap
Date: Sat, 23 Sep 95 18:51:06 GMT

My Cat use to purr and looked at me lovingly when I fed it,
Now it sits on its fat butt scowling at me as if to say
~Where's my bloody food you idiot~

From: scorpio@charm.net (Ken Irwin 2)
Subject: A hangover retrospect
Date: 29 Sep 1995 18:30:12 -0400

Well after feeling miserable all day long after a bit of endulgence last evening, I just want to say that I got sick as a dog. 2 beers, a glass of wine and 30 shots of JaegerMeister. It just goes to show you the saying is indeed true, DON'T MIX BEER AND WINE!!!

From: jason@vain.demon.co.uk
Subject:
Date:

I spend everynight in with my PC and I'm no sicko. ;)
Seriously I wouldn't worry about it, I don't. I prefer staying in getting drunk then going out. Do what you feel like doing instead of what you think others think you should be doing unless you really think what your doing isn't right for you then do what you think is right for you regardless of what you think others regard as being right for you.

From: Groove Generator <an398305@anon.penet.fi>
Subject: Re: Was I wrong?
Date: 6 Oct 1995 16:00:28 GMT

Editor's Note: This has to do with a guy stepping in and stopping an altercation between 2 guys with a baseball bat and a guy who is getting the shit beat out of him.

I've always stepped in if I felt it was the right thing to do. And my S.O's have always said it was a stupid thing to do. Its not macho, its just the right thing to do - theres a matter of principle - two on one is just not fair.

From: lombardo@cnj.digex.net (Jim & Noreen)
Subject: The Pope is Pissed
Date: Fri, 06 Oct 1995 23:32:54 -0400

Case in point: did anybody see the broadcast of the Mass the Pope delivered last night? It was a dead giveaway that he's a DB when he chugged the contents of his Chalice (Pope-cup), exclaimed "HOO-WHAH!!!", and motioned heartily to the altar-boy for a double refill.

I would love to do a CC with the Pope:

Gonzo: "The CC rules now allow hard liquor. Got me some tasty vodka."

Pope: "Vait! Vatt do I do vit all dees Corona? I vant to do zhots of vine!"

[name deleted from imaginary CC log]: "C'mon, don't be an asshuffer, your Holiness".

Sondra: "You could pour the Corona over Rob's head to wake him up. Nah, never mind. He'd be pretty frightened waking up butt-naked with a Pontiff pouring swill all over him."

Pope: "63. Voah! HOO-WHAH!! Ohhhh....vait, zees carponazhun ees too much for me. I zeenk I'm gonna hug ze porcelain god. No, vait, zhat's zacreligious. I zchunder in zee popemobile inzhestead."

Pope (feeling relieved): "100. Vow!! Vat a CC!. Buuurrrrrppppp! Who vants to go to 200?"

-Jim

From: Ryan R. Scripps <rscripps@mail.utexas.edu>
Subject: Re: what hte fuck
Date: 11 Oct 1995 07:20:09 GMT

Beer Good.

From: erdahl@gladstone.uoregon.edu (Erik Dahl)
Subject: Re: Stabbed in the back.
Date: Tue, 10 Oct 1995 20:52:18 -0700

interesting that you say this, i was digging around for some file (that i never found) this evening and came across an old attempt at defining humour:
"One of the basic structural elements of humour is that the audience and/or
the characters know from the start that everything is pretty much doomed."

this may have some relation to why we drink.

From: baker-j@ix.netcom.com (John Baker )
Subject: Re: gremlin conspiracy
Date: 14 Oct 1995 23:38:40 GMT

For awhile, I had this message on my answering machine: "Hello. John & Kevin are out drinking again. Think carefully before leaving a message, 'cause we'll probably call you back drunk at 3 in the morning." Lot of hang-ups with that one.

BTW, the subject of this thread reminds me of the idea I had a few nights ago while doing screwdrivers. I decided that I'm going to buy a Gremlin, cut the back off of it, buy an El Camino and put the back from it onto the Gremlin, and call it an El Gremlino.

From: Anthony Grange <agrange@cortex.uchc.edu>
Subject: Re: Flames in ADB
Date: Tue, 24 Oct 1995 19:23:09 -0400

Okay, all drunken bastards sing together (to the tune of Mickey Mouse club):

What's the beer we drink and drink until we cannot see?

M - I - C ... K - E - Y ... Q - U - A - R - T - S

Mickey's Quarts (shaefer light!), Mickey's Quarts (shaefer light!) ...
until we reach the point of ecstacy!

M - I - C ... C ya at the bar!!!
K - E - Y ... Why? 'Cause we wanna get FUUUUUUUUCKED UP!!!!
Q - U - A - R - T!!!!!!!!

Now THERE'S a drinkin' song.

From: dbumann@aol.com (DBUMANN)
Subject: hi from barnum mn
Date: 23 Oct 1995 10:06:31 -0400

hello
it is past closong
im homee
im drunk
have a dya

From: jason vain <jason@vain.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Damn... another one.
Date: Fri, 03 Nov 95 20:16:41 GMT

Me a role model? God help us!!
I sent my wife out two weeks ago for two bottles of milk as we had run out.
She never came back and people kept asking me how I'm coping.
I just said ~As luck would have it I've some powdered milk in the cupboard~

From: kodiak@best.com (Annabelle)
Subject: Re:
Date: Fri, 10 Nov 1995 07:35:12 GMT

No, it's quite conventional, really. Beer tastes better when you're naked and chained to a wall. It's as simple as that.

From: Sondra Halperin <shalperin@symantec.com>
Subject: Re: Beer Fart Crisis (again)
Date: 14 Nov 1995 06:03:07 GMT

Ya know, reading all this stuff about farting, I just had to post this. I walked into my boss' office the other day. He's sitting with his back to the door and obviously thought he was alone, caus just as I'm about to say something, he actually *tilts* to one side and lets one rip. I'm standing there, like, not really sure what to do. Should I turn and run? Burst into hysterics? Continue as if nothing happened? Geez. Thankfully it wasn't a stinker.

From: miss bianca <errosen@mailbox.syr.edu>
Subject: soemthing to sing when you'er fucked up
Date: 1 Dec 1995 00:46:39 GMT

here's a really cuute drimnking song.

i'm drunk so it might not be as funny if you're sober. deal with it.
[in case you are too drunk to figure it out it's to the tune of do-re-mi only i don't think julie
andrews will be singing this one]
here is do re mi for the sobrietally-challenged by some guy named hector:

DOUGH is what i need to buy beer
RAY, the guy who buys me beer
ME is who ray buys beer for
FAR a long way to go for beer
SO i think i'll have abeer
LA la la la la la la
TEA no thanks i'll have a beer
I'M OUTTA BEER AND NEED MORE DOUGH oh oh oh...

and then repeat until you are too drunk to remember the words.
it's good family entertainment for all.

thank you drive through

erica =-)

From: duck@duck.com (scutt)
Subject: SMF
Date: Sun, 26 Nov 1995 07:11:56 GMT

you know what that stands for? right, i'm fucked up! oh yeah
feels good! I could screw a nun!
$$$$$,- , %%%% = ^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^
- Rashneeezkedzimpalalalalahoohee

From: wanderer@primenet.com (Carrie Scheidt)
Subject: Re: #ADB: The Christmas Eve get together!!
Date: 27 Dec 1995 09:35:03 -0700

Hey Jaz, when you post the log would you do me a favor and edit out every drunken stupid thing I said?

That would be everything after my initial hello.

From: clancy@imap2.asu.edu
Subject: Re: 40 Ounce Brew..40s in NYC
Date: 28 Dec 1995 11:06:59 GMT

Oso, a stuffed animal? Nope, the squid entrails haven't gotten here...yet.

Someone had the bright idea to get me 3 sessions with a personal trainer and a 30 minute massage session, for XMAS. I met with the trainer today, and we did a fitness assessment. I bench 160 and leg press 320. So after doing all the tests, he says, "I assume you'll want me to work up a 4 day workout schedule for you?" Oh boy. When does my liver get a workout?

From: mmathu@ix.netcom.com(Mark Mathu )
Subject: Re: winter sucks
Date: 28 Dec 1995 05:33:49 GMT

Winter got you down? Just keep singing this delightful carol:

"Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But this beer is so delightful.
We got a barrel that's nice and cold -
Let it flow, let it flow, Let it flow!"

"It doesn't show signs of stopping,
and it looks like we can't go bar-hopping.
But there's a movie on HBO -
Let it flow, let it flow, Let it flow!"

From: lombardo@cnj.digex.net (Jim & Noreen)
Subject: Re: American Money query.
Date: Fri, 29 Dec 1995 20:53:28 -0500

Jim examines his pockets and finds:

- two grapefruits and a pepperoni (oh never mind, that's just his privates)
- some BNC connectors (don't ask)
- a Penny (1/100 of a dollar. Useless thing that lets merchants sell goods for $19.99 instead of $20.)
- a half-finished pint of Jim Beam
- a Nickel (5/100 of a dollar, named for the metal the coin was made from sometime in yesteryear)
- lint
- a Dime (10/100 of a dollar, much smaller than a nickel yet more valuable. Hmmm....)
- a Quarter (you guessed it - 25/100 of a dollar. A roll of these in your pants always impresses the ladies)
-a crumpled-up old Post-It note
- a Fifty Cent Piece (legal tender, but not used too much. A roll of these in your pants will convince the ladies that you're of African descent <bg>)
- The Princess Dianna's panty shield
- a Susan B. Anthony Dollar coin (looks and feels like a quarter, which was the big problem with this defunct and silly piece of U.S. currency)
- five golden rings
- a Half-Dollar piece (which is still minted, I think, but mainly coveted by collectors and casino gamblers).

From: wanderer@primenet.com (Carrie Scheidt)
Subject: Re: The Xmas eve #ADB channel log with all the drunk parts editted...
Date: 28 Dec 1995 08:22:02 -0700

If a head falls on a keyboard, and no one around is sober, does it still make a sound?

From: lombardo@cnj.digex.net (Jim & Noreen)
Subject: Re: The Xmas eve #ADB channel log with all the drunk parts editted...
Date: Thu, 28 Dec 1995 21:33:12 -0500

~Jim (notice the tilde in front of my name? some flirtatious little vixen at CompuServe support signs her name that way. Oooohhh,

~Jaline@compuserve.com, your tilde is so cute. Ouch, Noreen just headwhacked me. I get no more bourbon tonight. Bummer.)

From: RZVT32A@prodigy.com (William Dodd)
Subject: Getting drunk at the parents' house
Date: 26 Dec 1995 07:40:03 GMT

On top of everything, I ran out of cigarettes so I have been foced to either smoke my mom's or go without. My mom smokes these nasty, light "Now 100's". I smoke marlboro reds. I have to cut off half of the filter just so I can taste the damn things. So now there are all of these little filters lying about the house and the dog keeps eating them.

Oh well, I hate our dog anyways.
-Drew.

From: lombardo@cnj.digex.net (Jim & Noreen)
Subject: New Jersey declares State of Emergency
Date: Sun, 07 Jan 1996 15:28:15 -0500

It's Sunday afternoon and there's a hell of a snowstorm in the works here. Since we may be shut in before long, it's time to think about ensuring our survival.

Water? No problem. We can always melt the snow.
Fuel? No concern. Ate spicy turkey sausage for lunch.
Food? Nah, the cat weighs 20 pounds. We could just lop off parts as we need 'em.
Beer? Oh dear God! We're out! Dig! Dig! Dig! Get the snowshoes. Hang a red flag out the window.

The announcer on the radio says "stay off the streets unless you're driving an emergency vehicle". We're off in our emergency vehicle to get a case or two.

From: Sondra <shalperin@symantec.com>
Subject: Re: Ok, I'm set
Date: 5 Jan 1996 01:18:21 GMT

It doesn't involve undressing. Only requires about 1/4 bottle of gin on top of several 40 oz-ers and a public place. Joel does the rest.

Man, he just wouldn't sit the fuck down on the train. Kept jumping up and popping his head out the car, running up and down the aisles, "pretending" to puke on the seats, threatening loudly to fuck with the other passengers.

I thought Noreen was going to sock him in the jaw just to keep him down. :)
Either that, or I was gonna hafta do it myself. Fortunately the gin began to subdue him before we had to. :)

From: clancy@imap2.asu.edu
Subject: Re: Ain't getting none tonight
Date: 7 Jan 1996 10:08:12 GMT

Weee-hah! Woudl taht nbe agiunst the lkaw ior sinetguing>?

From: Sondra <shalperin@symantec.com>
Subject: Re: AMERICAS BEER IS PISS WEAK
Date: 13 Jan 1996 03:03:36 GMT

See, that's the deal. You can't even afford a fuckin coupla thousand bucks for a plane ride and you're all fuckin talk. yeah, I could shoot my mouth off too if I didn't have the bucks to go anywhere. "Hey, I can drink you into the table." or somthing like that. but the point is that something.
hey, there's some whiskey.

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