Subject: facjkling bikej stealing poilive besatrd
Date: Thu, 06 Dec 2001 12:01:22 +0100
hgly ciew!" sonem mnajor bulksshit tonight. rrisaing hinboemn ion mx bikne. mneeet police. gfot stoppred. wanbted tio measure me bvlos alcojhoc. gad to rubn off. bikje loeft behinf. ghid in buash. fell asklklee. lookes dlijek swanmop thging, . mnoajor beullshit ""
mnore latzer
From: Trigger <trigger@drunkenbastards.org>
Subject: Re: pist
Date: Sun, 09 Dec 2001 20:49:39 -0600
ain't no maybe, baby
I'm pist
Pist as a cawnt
It's more beer that I want
JaYne witha Y
how are you, guy?
Do you drink like a fish?
Besht way to get pisht...
If I make some words rhyme
on varying lines
does that make me a poet?
Does anyone know it?
Drunk as a lord
on what I can afford
Which seems pretty clear
I'm shitfaced my friends,
on really cheap beer.
From: Bernie-X <Bernie-X@funkybitch.com>
Subject: Re: When you're drunk...
Date: Wed, 12 Dec 2001 09:47:27 -0800
...I can't stand a sober person while drunk, nor a drunk when sober.
From: Y-T <Y-T@funkybitch.com>
Subject: Re: Hypocrisy
Date: Sat, 15 Dec 2001 00:46:45 -0800
A "Sad Piss?!" WTF is that all about. My happiest moments were when I was draining the snake. Even the one where we relieved ourselves on a display at the Cleveland Natural History Museum. Hey, you think you're taking a door to the outdoors and you find yourself in a diorama. Kind of like pissing in a giant aquarium.
From: "TheLeaf" <Leaf@theleaf.worldonline.co.uk>
Subject: Another log... Pair of Bastards.. Merry Fackin Xmas
Date: Tue, 25 Dec 2001 11:49:33 -0000
Guess what I found on Jaz's hardrive?
I hooked up his old drive and look what Santa left in a log...
Merry Fackin Xmas...
<gregm> hey jaz! <Jaz> hi greg, how are you this morning? <gregm> feeling frisky... <Jaz> oh? I'm just having a drink of cider. Fack w*rk. <gregm> don't dribble any down you chin ;) <Jaz> bet you'd like that... Seeing it dribble off my chins... <gregm> I've got goose pimples just thinking about it. <Jaz> what you wearing? <gregm> I've got my birthday suit on. <Jaz> same here, just sitting letting it swing. <gregm> I remember seeing you in Vegas the first time, you look so handsome in yer beer stained budweiser tee-shirt. <Jaz> you didn't look bad either in your crumpled clothes that you wore everyday. <gregm> Them sailor pants fit you very snug ;0) <Jaz> I noticed the way you stared at my Jolly roger. <gregm> I'd like to roger you! <Jaz> I bet you wouldn't kick me off the DB Island! <gregm> no way! You'd be my little bunny! <Jaz> I'd bet we'd shag like bunnies. <gregm> I'm getting really turned on now... I'm starting to get a little stiff. <Jaz> me too... You turn me on so bad! No! I mean good! <gregm> Where's Leaf? <Jaz> don't worry, she's off w*rking in Barnsley... She won't be back for days. <gregm> listen lover, don't forget to delete the logs... <Jaz> Gimme a break, think I'd be so daft as to leave them on here for her to find? <gregm> no, of course not my little sugar sweet. XXX <Jaz> xxx back atya! <gregm> ( ) ( ) That's my bum! <Jaz> here comes! B======D <gregm> B======D-- ( ) ( ) slot it in loverboy!
I'll post some more after a few more drinks, I can't bare to read anymore.
My Xmas is in tatters.
Hope you both feel good aboot this.
More Dwy!
From: $USER@127.0.0.1 (Dinsdale)
Subject: Re: It Could Be Worse
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 07:40:02 GMT
It could be worse, you could have a gay siamese twin and a shared asshole.
From: "Mr. Cruise" <cruise@openverse.org>
Subject: Re: Religion
Date: Sun, 30 Dec 2001 18:55:49 -0500
*I believe* You probably shouldn't cyber-fuck your buddies wife more than once or twice a year.
From: $USER@127.0.0.1 (Dinsdale)
Subject: Re: Boozy Songs
Date: Tue, 01 Jan 2002 10:45:09 GMT
luksusowa and cab here and a slightly frightened dog. she's not much for fireworks. best stop lighting them in the house.
From: Beavis <beavis@fuckyou.com>
Subject: Re: Snow Day!
Date: Sat, 05 Jan 2002 07:09:18 +0000
<jaz@1jason.com> wrote:
> In Engerland if your snowed in, you are still expected to get to work.
> We live high up and get the snow worse then anyone but no-one believes you
> as the snow isn't as bad further down in the valley.
Maybe you should stop trying to call snow days in June
From: $USER@127.0.0.1 (Dinsdale)
Subject: Re: Remember your first orgasm?
Date: Sat, 12 Jan 2002 03:02:43 GMT
>Good story and all, but the image of a young girl hammering
>herself with a hairbrush sorta freaks me out. Call me a prude, call me
>old-fashioned - call me a fucking cab.
Call me a fucking photographer.
From: leibold <leibold@drunkenbastards.org>
Subject: Re: sunday night in goat hill
Date: Tue, 15 Jan 2002 16:21:19 +0100
I've already seen my breath in not-so-cold mornings, too. When nobody else's was visible. And mine probably was smellable, too.
From: jaZZmanian Devil <jshaw@stny.rr.com>
Subject: Re: daily rant
Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2002 12:58:37 -0500
Morticia~ wrote:
> brought up the 'buddy' list. It went thusly..
> oh and btw fuckhaid maybe yer BUDdy KATie can cook the next steak.
> Am I reacting overly?
You have a vagina. I'd say you're acting perfectly within standard operating specs. Unless you failed to then bring up a minimum of three other things he'd fucked up on over the last five years, in which case you may be slipping and might need to see a doctor for estrogen supplements.
From: jaZZmanian Devil <jshaw@stny.rr.com>
Subject: Re: Grecian Formula
Date:
Tue, 29 Jan 2002 08:59:57 -0500
Trigger wrote:
>Hey - I'm gonna buy me some of this shit and *then* I'll start getting laid
>again. The damn commercial said so. (Well, it sure as hell implied it)
I may be wrong, but I don't think you can drink that stuff and not either go blind or die.
From: Trigger <trigger@drunkenbastards.org>
Subject: It's tougher than it looks...
Date: Sat, 02 Feb 2002 01:36:58 -0600
The curling club bar is um, quite conducive to being fucked up so I ordered a double vodka fuck off the ice. I thought about ordering a burger, but figured why fuck up a totally good bender with food?
I had me that and another. And then another. I also took a triple vodka on the ice with me. Hey - we were playing DAVE. (He could quite possibly be the biggest idiiot I know)
So. An hour later. They are beating our asses like a throw rug. I busied myself with a trip to the bar for a smoke and a refuel and left Pammy to make the decisions. Not usually a good thing, but hey I do it every game. I can watch the game from upstairs with a drink and a smooooooke and like it matters.
I cant quite describe it, but sitting there in the bar I realized that the other teaam was just a bunch of drunks too.
I nailed my drink and went back down there with a reneved spirit. And we kicked their ass.
From: "PamelaJ" <pamelaperry@fuse.net>
Subject: Re: Friend who doesnt puke
Date: Fri, 8 Feb 2002 01:39:53 -0500
That was what pissed me off. They never really took by Blood Alcohol Level. I asked. The doctors said they were too busy trying to save my life. BS. That certainly wasn't the drunkest I've ever been. Fuck em. I needed something to brag about, like my friend who got pulled over and almost got away with drunken driving. He blew a 3.8 and the cops said that he looked sober. Hell, he had a 12 pack to drink in the car to drink when he got home. He was only 22 at the time. He died at age 24. I miss him. I hope his death had nothing to do with the wreck we were in that night and the fact that we had wrecked his friend's car (his friend had could get violent, and even he died 6 months later), or the fact that he had OD'd the night before and had his stomach pumped, or the pills I gave him. Oh well, just another reason not to quit drinking.
Back to the index of Quote Pages