[Jill]: Hey, I've got Joel on the phone from Oklahoma City. What do ya
need, man?

[xxx]: I'm calling to see if you might be able to help me win a bet.

[Jill]: Oh, I like to do that, Joel.

[xxx]: Hey, great, great. I've got a case of beer wagered on this, so it's
really important, ya know?

[Jill]: Alright, well, what's the deal?

[xxx]: Okay, well, I've got a friend in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, his
name is Alan, and we wagered a case of beer that I wouldn't be able to call up and ask to get on the radio and mention the wildest newsgroup on the Internet, which is alt.drunken.bastards.

[Jill]: I know alt.drunken.bastards!

[xxx]: Have you heard of us?

[Jill]: You can locate, to any town, like, basically in the world and you
can find someone to go out and just get totally drunk with.

[xxx]: Right! You've got the Designated Drinker!

[Jill]: Exactly!

[xxx]: Yeah, they're in all the major cities, and I guess, by default, I'm
sorta the Designated Drinker of Oklahoma City.

[Jill]: Are you really? Well, what about me, Joel?

[xxx]: Oh, well--

[Jill]: Why am I not on there? I have a problem with that.

[xxx]: Well, I do have to work every once in a while, so I guess you could be the stand-in...

[Jill]: A stand-in?

[xxx]: Yeah, well, not to say second-best, but in case I'm out of
commission for the night or in jail, you know, or whatever--

[Jill]: [laughs] All right! So like an alternate Drunken Bastard is what
you're going for?

[xxx]: Of course!

[Jill]: Okay, I accept that.

[xxx]: You know, like, maybe, say if I can't get up off the floor to go out and have some drinks, [intelligible]

[Jill]: [laughs] Joel, you animal! Alright, I will hook you up.

[xxx]: Wonderful!

[Jill]: But, there's only one thing.

[xxx]: Do I have to share some of the beer?

[Jill]: I can't believe you'd even ask me that, Joel. Of course you do!
You are hooked up. When you get that wicked South African beer, you better call me, man, because we're gonna get crazy together!

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