I used to drive a fuckin Ford Monza. I punched a bunch of holes in the damn muffler and it sounded like a fuckin crop duster. I ended up with 3 DWI's. I don't have a drivers license anymore. It's pretty funny when I go to a new liquer store to grab some beer and I have to show them my damn DWI thing to buy beer. Man, being in jail for life would suck. That's cool though because I don't really support drinkin and drivin because I had a good friend that got ran over by a drunk driver.

I don't think the booze made the drunk driver do it though, cuz Sam the pedestrian had been screwing his wife or whatever. After my friend sam got ran down and got over the injuries he got really fat. The doctors said he got fat because of the accident. Needless to say we don't hang around him anymore. Johnson was the drunk driver. I just ride a skateboard everywhere now, that gets pretty funky when you get drunk. It's also hard to carry anything more than a case of beeer on my damn board. I usually have to make several trips when Eds not around.

I hate to stray away from the subject and all(fuck it I'm drunk already) but all this brings back some old high school memories and I have no one to BS with so you unlucky bastards have to... you know. Ed and i planned a big ass halloween party when I was in the 9th grade (I had a hardship license). My father bought me some ol piece of shit Buick Regal that I ended up totalling out one night when I swirved to far over trying to run down a deer. anyway the damn trunk wouldn't close worth a shit and I had a big assed keg strapped in the back.

We tied all kind of shit around the back of my car in order to make it stay and were sure it would. Ed and I were cruising the town trying to pick up on some chicks. We saw two fine looking babes(probably prostitutes-hey we were young) standing at the corner near where Ed lives now, but anyway I thought I'd show out and burn some rubber. i came to a stop at the corner. I gave a super cool look to the babes. Then I stood on the gas and turned the wheels real fuckin sharp.

Man I swear we were on two wheels going down the damn street. The damn Regal ended up fish tailing and spinning out. It seemed like we were doing 360's for days. The bad part is the damn keg bounced out and got all fucked up. The worst part is that a cop saw most of this going on. Ed hauled ass out of there like a PRICKLESS COWARD(and you know you did!!!!).

The cop started asking me all sorts of shit about who jumped out and whose keg that was. I told him that the keg belonged to the guy that ran off and that the guy that hauled ass was making me carry him and his beer around. I told him that I was driving like an idiot so maybe that dude riding would ask me to let him out.

THe police bought it sort of but they were certainly gonna have my hardship revoked. I thought I'd gotton away with it until Ed's parents called the damn cops all crying and shit saying that their boy was missing. apparently ed was too scared to go home. The cops picked him up later that night and our stories got crossed and that's how I got my first MIP.

later

TEK