"I finally have to pipe up about Oso..."
From: Gonzo
Date: 12 Jan 96
Hi everyone,
I have this need to post about what happened last night to me and Oso. This is
going to get kind of long, so if you're seeing double now, might want to skip this
and go onto the next post. So anyways, here goes...
The Background:
CC 10.5 at My Apartment
So Oso comes over around 7:00pm, and we start to do a little predrinking. He
had this stuff he bought from the store called TGIF's Pina Colada mix, and a bottle
of TGIF's mudslide. I choose to have a couple of shots of vodka before the CC, and
Oso makes up a batch of Pina Coladas, and has a couple of large gulps from it. Instant
head freeze. After a few cups of this stuff, Oso decides he wants me to cook up some
linguica (Portuguese sausage) that he brought over. It's about 10 minutes before
the start of the CC, and Oso is chowing down on two of these sausages in huge buns.
I'm getting sick just thinking about what's going to happen to him if he continues
to drink.
The Start
So, the CC starts, and about 5 minutes into it, Oso decides that he wants to
complete a CC for once, but doesn't want to do it with the Pina Colada mix. He wants
to do it Gonzo-style, i.e with vodka. So, 50 ounces of Pina Coladas and 2 sausages
with buns later, he decides to start doing vodka shooters with Diet Sprite chasers.
He takes 2 for the first one because he missed the initial shot. Then every 10 minutes,
we took shots together. At about #80 (or the 9th shot for us vodka drinkers, Oso
is quick drunk. Not the "I'll sit there and be a good, kind drunk", but
"I am just going to wander around your apartment, bump into things, and spill
my drink on everything" drunk. We finally get to 100, and he asks me if he has
puked yet. I say no, and then move the garbage can a little closer in anticipation
of what might just come up.
I get back to typing, and I hear the blender in the kitchen going. I jump up
from my chair, only to find him making Mudslides. I yell "Glenn! What the hell
are you doing?" He looks at me, smiles with that contented drunken smile, and
staggers backwards away from the blender, backing into my stove. "I'm cool,"
he says.
The Ending
I say to Oso, "You want to lay down on the couch?", hoping he'd pass
out in a few moments. "I'm cool," he says again. I walk back into my room
and sit down at the computer, not realizing I should be watching him like a 2 year
old child who has just learned how to crawl. I hear the blender going again, and
I run back into the kitchen. "No more for you, man", I say. "I'm cool",
he says as he backed away again. "I just wanted another drink." I then
did something I will never forget but felt was necessary at the time. I poured the
blender full of Mudslides into the sink. Again I ask him if he wants to lay down,
and he says no, that he wants to type on the IRC. I said No, but guided him into
my room so that I could keep an eye on him. I go back to typing, and I notice that
he is suddenly lying on the floor. "Glenn", I yelled, "get up and
go to the couch!" "I'm cool", he says. So, he crawls into the front
room, and instead of getting onto the couch, le lays down with his head on a couple
of my videotapes. I say thank God he has finally passed out...
...I was Wrong
I went back into my room, and typed a little more, and looked into my full length
mirror, and could see his legs in it. Good, I thought, I can see if he moves. I went
back to typing, hoping he was done for the night with him. A few minutes later, I
look into the mirror, and his feet are gone, and Wham! the front door slams shut.
Christ!, I though, he's going to try and drive home (even though I had hidden his
keys. That was just the first thing on my mind.). The second thought I had was what
if he trys to walk home and gets hit by a car (he lives too far away to walk, but
knowing him, he'd try). So, I bolt from my chair, running outside, looking around
for Oso, when I hear another Wham! Oso had run back into the apartment. Oh shit,
I thought. If he locks the door and passes out, I'm outside all night long. He luckily
didn't lock the door, but I found him on the couch. He looked at me and said "I'm
cool."
I then turn on a Beavis and Butthead tape (because I know that Butthead soothes
the savage Oso), and I go back into my room. I can once again see him in the mirror.
Finally, after about 10 minutes, he's in the normal "I'm on my back, my head
on a pillow, my mouth wide open" passed out stage. For the first time, I breathed
a sigh of relief.
That's how the night ended for him. I had a few more shots, turned off the TV,
but not the sound (it goes through my stereo), and went to bed. When I woke up in
the morning, Oso was gone. I knew he would want to leave when he got up, so I put
his keys next to his wallet and pistol.
And, hell, that wasn't even the reason I typed this all out, but this is getting
so long, that I'll end it here and begin the next one in just a minute.
--
Gonzo
DD of Tempe, AZ
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