[snip a rant involving drunkenness, early waking, and baseball]Why is it that the more you drink, the more you want to watch a sport where physical violence is more important than things like strategy and skill? I'm serious here. Sober, I'll happily sit and watch baseball or golf all day, arguing the subtle nuances of the suicide squeeze or the flop shot. After a day's worth of drinking, though, all I want to see is the Ultimate Fighting Championship.
I've not thought it out too far, but I'm starting to work on a viewing scale to help people know instantly how drunk I am by simply asking what sport I'm watching on TV.
0-5 drinks: Baseball, golf, basketball. Little to no buzz. Amiable and social.I hope this helps. Additions and clarifications may be forthcoming.6-10 drinks: Football. Slight to medium buzz. Loud and a little rowdy.
11-15 drinks: Hockey, rugby, Australian Rules Football. Well buzzed, somewhat drunk. Will attempt to physically demonstrate why certain plays aren't working.
16-20 drinks: Boxing. Drunk. Will punch you if you try to change channels.
21-25 drinks: Ultimate Fighting Championship. Will punch you for the hell of it.
25+ drinks: American Gladiators. Will punch myself if you give me $10.
Dave
Currently watching game 2 of the World Series...
From: Dave Kelley
Date: 22 Oct 96
Oso wrote:
How does your theory explain your constant switching between the golf channel and the hard-core porno channel at Greasy Tony's in Tempe, Arizona, right by ASU (there, that ought to get them some business)?Very simple. Hardcore pornography cancels out up to 30 drinks. Therefore, by virtue of having the Greasy Tony's Pornovision available, I was able to maintain my golf sensibilities.
Dave
Who only needs one hand to drink...