OK, here's the crap you've all been waiting for.
Anyway, I got a call the night before the thing shot and it said I should show up
at 3:30, not 12:30. Cool. I spent the day cleaning out place and playing Warcraft
2. But anyway.
I get to the North Shore Studios, about 5 minutes from my house, at 3:30 and get let it (security guard sez: "You're FIRST on the list!" =). Over to the big white trailers by set #1 and I meet Mimade by EDIBLE PLANET caterers. Like beef and sushi and cool salads. Man.
I return at 4:00 as ordered and wait for the wardrobe person to show up. She eventually does and despite terminal surliness on her part I get into a prison guard uniform. I then get ushered over to ANOTHER truck on the other side of the set building thingee to get propped. Here's a good time to go over what i was wearing:
Doc Martens with black socks (mine)So I looked like a bad mofo at this point. Anyway from then on I sat on the set with a couple of other extras for like NINE HOURS waiting for our scene. It was the last day of shooting for the year, so things were going slowly. Also, the scene was REALLY complicated (but I can't tell you why =) so THAT was taking forever.
Brown polyester pants (yeah, right)
white t-shirt (mine)
white shirt that says "DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS" and looks official (not mine)
hair (yeah)
a little pin that says my name "L. IOGNA"
a BIG identification pin with my name on it and my PICTURE (Polaroid). Course on this thing my name is "L. SMITH". WTF.
a cute little police-type badge on my shirt
a big badass black belt that carries:a little handcuff holder, with no handcuffs
a bottle of mace which was really a knockoff of "poison" perfume
a big badass police type club
There was plenty of OK food here too, including tons of pop, breadsticks, cheese, pepperonis, etc. etc. Also, I'd like to mention that Gillian Anderson is a sushi goddess for sending over 4 HUGE plates of sushi at about 10:30 pm. MmmMMmmmMMm.
I have to mention at this point that I was one of two guards. The other guard you will see more since he has a bit more experience doing acting stuff. I didn't have to find this out myself. He told *Everyone*. He also kept doing things like: telling the producer that a shot looked wrong; telling the director that someone's head was slightly tilted; saying the photo on my id badge was bad and trying to get a reshoot; etc. In other words, he sucked. He was a complete huffer. A fuckwit. Boo him when you see him; he's the goofy looking guy with glasses and short greasy hair. The huffer.
So FINALLY they shot my scene. I was supposed to open a prison door, let the two suited guys in (they're pushing *something*, but I can't tell you what... hehehehe this is fun), then look pretty while the second prison door is opened by ANOTHER prison guard, who was a total asshuffer. Then I was supposed to close the second door behind all of them and look pretty some more. Pretty simple right?
Well in this shoot simple is a bad thing. So the director guy had me climb a rickety ladder to this catwalk. Actually this was cool because now I had a better part. Also I got to hold and carry a Big Frigging Gun. Yes. The director also decided that I needed a rifle, and since there were no PROP rifles around, I got a Real Gun. A Remington 850 Express Magnum, I think it was called. Held 5 shells, but it was unloaded. The barrel was big enough for me to stick my middle finger in. Wipe that drool off Gonzo.
Anyway my scene is as follows:
Scene begins. I am at the end of a catwalk with two windows with sunlight streaming through them. I walk towards the camera down the catwalk as the camera pans down to the aforementioned doors. I stop to watch all the people walk in, but the camera is well off me by that point. Then other things happen but who cares, right? =)
To view the FIRST EVER APPEARANCE OF AN A.D.Ber on TV:
Tune in to X-Files for the season-ending episode, which is called Tamitha Mari or something. May 17 maybe? May 24? I'm not sure.
Wait until RIGHT NEAR THE END, 5 minutes from the end tops, when the action switches to a prison, or a high security facility of some kind. Then watch in awe as the scene begins and the world can finally view -- my shoes.
Well probably. Maybe you'll see my face for 1/2 second, but I doubt it as I was behind a fence type thing. Just look for a rather tall guard carrying a damn big gun, and impress your friends by screaming, "I KNOW HIM!"
It was fun.
Subject: X-Files THIS FRIDAY
Date: 13 May 96
OK, I've got info on my *Big* appearance on X-Files this Friday! The first ever international TV appearance of a db! Woo!
OK, here's the details:
1. The scene with me in is apparently about 15 minutes into the show. I'm in an establishing shot in a prison. The shot begins showing a catwalk with sunlight streaming in through 2 windows. That's me with the [sarcastic voice] 870 Express ShotGuN [end sarcastic voice] walking down the catwalk! YAY!
Wait, that's only one detail. Hmm.
Well, I tried to put a "db" in black tape on the gun haft, or whatever the bottom part is called, but a tech noticed it and took it off (though he didn't think I did it). For my wife's benefit, I put my wedding ring on my right hand (the one that's on camera) but I doubt you'll see it. Apparently you can see me quite well and yes I was kind of hung over so there you go. Also after that shot the caterers brought in two huge barrels of ice 'n' beer. Yum.
So look for me, cheer for me, frame grab me and post to alt.binaries.sex.fetish.canadian.
=)
--
Chris Foley
DNRC POPE OF CAPITAL LETTERS, HPK