Date: 15 Aug 96
I promised Dal I'd post this so...
A mate of mine back in the UK is in the fil.. sorry, is one of Her Majesty's Constabulary. About 18 months ago he had a very unfortunate experience. He and his mate turned up at the scene of a traffic accident, a lorry had lost a load of paving slabs, which had landed in some Old Lady's front yard, blocking her door. So my mate sets to shifting some of these bloody heavy lumps of stone so she can gets out. While he's doinfg this he bends down to pick one up and riiiip. His pants split from front to back round the crotch, the silly sod hasn't got a spare pair back in his locker at the nick, he's only just come on shift, and his girlfriend is at work and won't be back for hours to bring him back a new pair. So he has to spend the next four hours driving around Stockport wearing one of those rain ponchos to cover up his embarassment. Oh yeah. It was August and about 30C. We dropped his pants off at the nick at about 5pm for him. The desk Sergent was laughing her tits off...
...and now. An on-topic story!
This one concerns one of my drinking buddies here
in Honkers. Andy, for that is he, lives over in Discovery Bay, which is about a half
hour ride away from HK Island by Turbo Cat. The other friday we'd done the usual,
start straight from work, happy hour hop, grab something to eat, etc. Andy wanders
off home about midnight and gets the ferry. So he's sitting there about ten min into
the ride, when the evenings intake decides to make a return appearance, all eight
pints of VB and a Pizza. He clambers over his mate (who's passed out in the aisle
seat), and finds all the toilets are occupied. Being a resourceful DB he opens the
doors to the little deck at the back, and goes out to hurl over the stern (blunt
end). Now one of the crew sees this and thinks "Oh Shit. The mad drunken gweilo's
going to jump" and races out after him. By this time Andy is blowing chunks
off the back of the Cat (that's doing 30 knots) straight into the Jet engines output
turbulance (Apparantly it doesn't half make it fly a long way...) when this guy appears
and starts grabbing him by the shoulder and screaming at him in Cantonese. Andy had
the presence of mind *not* to turn around and remonstrate with him...