The Place and Year of My Birth:
Mt. Pleasant, Iowa, 1961.

My Current Residence:
Chicago, the town Al Capone and Michael Jordan made famous, where no bartender worth his salt measures shots, and where some bars stay open until 6:00 a.m.

How I Pay My Bar Tab:
By editing books and a monthly magazine about industrial electrotechnology. Whoever said publishing was glamorous?

When I Like to Drink:

Saturday because it's Saturday and you can sleep late
Sunday because it's the last day of the weekend
Monday because you somehow survived the first day of the week
Tuesday because you felt better today than you expected to
Wednesday because you made it halfway through the week
Thursday because it's almost the weekend
Friday because, hell, it's Friday!

Repeat the above 52 times in a year.

How I Explain My Fondness for Whiskey:
It could be genetic. My ancestors who came to the U.S. 250 years ago were Scots with names like MacPherson, McCreary, and Campbell. A hundred and fifty years ago, my kin-folk were living in Kentucky, in the heart of bourbon country. That could explain it. On the other hand, maybe I'm just a souse.

The Dumbest Thing I've Done While Drunk:
Crossed a much-used railroad trestle spanning the Charles River in Boston, where the only escape if a train had come would have been to leap into the river.

The Dumbest Place I've Taken a Piss While Drunk:
From the top of the five-story University Hall at Northwestern University when I was so drunk I could barely stand.

What I've Been Arrested For:
Possession of a stolen moped in Granby, Colorado, in 1984. I was released on my own recognizance and shortly afterward fled the state.

What I'm Glad I Wasn't Arrested For:
Breaking the nose of some asshuffer in a sloppy barroom fight--which I started and actually won--in 1986 in Chicago.

My Personal Hero:
The late Mike Royko, who used to get good and lubricated every weeknight at the Billy Goat Tavern before waking up every weekday to write the best newspaper column in the U.S. He carried on this routine for something like 40 years before finally laying down his pen for good.

My Favorite Authors:
Geoffrey Chaucer, Shakespeare, Henry Fielding, James Joyce, George Orwell, Ambrose Bierce, Sir Kingsley Amis, P.J. O'Rourke, H.L. Mencken, Mark Twain, Tom Wolfe, Hunter S. Thompson, Mike Royko.

On Writing:
Writing is like taking a dump. After you do it, you feel better. Everyone who writes (or takes a dump) looks at it afterwards to make sure he or she isn't producing something watery, but few would admit to looking at it too closely or being terribly concerned about the effect the smell might have on the person in the next stall.

Celebrities I've Been Told I Resemble:
James Dean (when I was a teenager); James Woods (when I was thinner); Phil Collins and Tim Robbins (when I was beardless).

My Life's Ambition:
To think of a topic that's worth writing a book about, and then to stay sober long enough to write it.

The Mark of a DB:
A DB is someone who's mastered the art of composing coherent posts while on the verge of falling out of his chair.

Drunken Stories:

"Can a mellow drunk be a DB?"
"Crossing the Rubicon"
"How to Mourn"
"Shit. Royko's Dead"
"A Sixth Sense for Finding Hooch?"
"What Ever Happened to Skid Row?"