I witnessed something truly horrific last night - pub golf! i was out for a quick drink with a couple of blokes, and on the way to the pub we came across unusually large amounts of vomit. when we got in the pub we realised why - last night was the night of the annual UMIST pub golf round. we were just sat down with our pints when they were downing theirs. one bloke's was blue - he'd been stirring it up with a biro to get it nice and inky. Mmmmmm. anyway, he downed it, filled the glass up again with sick, downed that, filled it again and then ran out. and this was only about the 8th hole. 1/2 way through they have to down a pint of McDonald's milkshake. with vodka in it. through a straw.
apparently last year 11 out of 12 made it to the 19th hole - hospital.
i reckon, if i train hard all year, i could do this next year. i bet i'd be the 1st woman to attempt it, nevermind make it to the 19th. it would add heaps more to my street cred than being captain of the netball team or something anyway. i need a coach!
From: Liam
Date: 22 Nov 96
Bloody Hell! This does sound truly horrific! Please keep us posted (especially those of us who now have to live drunken lives vicariously). It is my experience that, while men can hold more licker, women are more intellegent and infinetly more cunning. Also, they *always* hold the winning hand. You need a coach? Nah! you need to become a coach. Create your own team: such as the "fuckin five wood femmes".
From: breezy
Date: 22 Nov 96
Caroline wrote:
i witnessed something truly horrific last night - pub golf!I'm sure most of you have rules for their own Beer Golf rules. Here are two versions I play most.
A Beer must be consumed at the beginning of each hole. A toast is usually mandatory and can be directed to the good or bad attributes of your group. (usually, nearing the final holes, the toasts turn into curses.)
Or, for every beer consumed, a stroke may be subtracted from that hole. This method has proven to beat all previous club records. A negative score is posible but should only be attempted on a "short 9" course.
Mr. B
(B is for "Big divot on the tee? Wasn't me!")
From: Dave Kelley
Date: 23 Nov 96
breezy wrote:
I'm sure most of you have rules for their own Beer Golf rules. Here are two versions I play most.WooHoo! Boozy golf - the sport of kings. And a sport I've come to know intimately. Over the past few years, we've come up with a few good additions to these rules. (The "each beer deducts one stroke" rule is always in effect.)
A Beer must be consumed at the beginning of each hole. A toast is usually mandatory and can be directed to the good or bad attributes of your group. (usually, nearing the final holes, the toasts turn into curses.)
Or, for every beer consumed, a stroke may be subtracted from that hole. This method has proven to beat all previous club records. A negative score is posible but should only be attempted on a "short 9" course.
On one hole per 18, you're allowed to mark off two club lengths from the cup, and each second you actually piss into the cup deducts one stroke from your final score. (Tougher than it sounds, especially on windy days.)
On one hole per 9, you're entitled to call "Chug Hole!" You take a standard can of beer and down it; your elapsed chug time is your score for that hole. Shotgunning the beer is not allowed. (Very effective on tough par-5s.) However, the chugged beer cannot be used as a "beer/stroke deduction" on your final score, and excessive spillage is penalized by having to perform the following: The Bomb: When penalized, you must pick up your ball and go straight to the green. Stand tall over the cup and hold the ball to your nose. Drop the ball into the cup. If the ball stays in the cup, you are not penalized. If the ball misses or comes out of the cup, you have to drop trou and hole out with your dick - with two strokes counted each time you have dick/ball contact. (This can be highly embarrassing and more painful than you may think.)
Dave
ADB club champion...