Depending on whether you're alone or with somebody, drunken cooking at 5:00am can be either a major drag or enormous fun. If you're solo, stick with whatever is fast and easy and won't set the house afire if you forget about it and go to sleep. Stick with microwavable stuff.
If you have company, then by God, crank up the stove and pretend you're the Drunken Gourmet (tm).
On one of our first dates, I got the GF all liquored up, then brought her home to witness my kitchen-related brilliance. Only I didn't really have much stuff in the house worth eating. No worries. I opened a couple of bottles of Merlot and pointed out the fridge filled with beer, and this kept her distracted long enough for me to come up with an on-the-spot menu.
Harkening back to tales of fry-ups, I got the biggest skillet I own and got it smoking hot. Then I filled the thing with butter. (BTW - butter smokes like hell if you heat it up too fast.) Then I started throwing in everything I could find. Some crawfish boudin, some asparagus, some mushrooms, a few jalapeno peppers, a couple of eggs, an onion, some garlic. Then I got cocky and started flinging the skillet around to stir everything up, sending up huge flames everytime I sloshed the melted butter out of the pan and into the fire, forcing me to dump my beer on the stove to douse the flames (and giving me an excuse to open another beer). After everything was pretty much crispy-fried, I dumped it onto a plate and poured the leftover butter on top. Then I reheated the pan and added even more butter. (I should point out here that my toaster wasn't working.) Once the butter was melted and smoking, I started throwing in slices of bread, frying it up into butter-soaked toast. The bread soaked up the butter pretty quick, so I had to keep adding butter.
By the time I was finished, there was splatters of butter and various foods all over the kitchen. The stove was covered in beer. The meal had something like 15,000 grams of cholesterol; 45,000 grams of fat; and 192,500 calories per serving when washed down with a 22-oz. bottle of Rogue Red Ale. It was a drunken dream dinner, and I give you all the recipe in hopes it will make you as fat and happy as it made me.
Dave (BDK)