"Beer as a Gateway Drug?"
Some unknown person wrote:
...drinking beer = "getting drunk." Oh, i'm sure of it, because, as we all doubtlessly know, anyone who drinks beer as a teenager invariably becomes a drug addict.To which Margery Cohen responded:
Jeez, I was having fun exaggerating but everyone seems to take me so seriously. I drank beer when I was 14. Now I'm a heroin addict.That's because beer is a dangerous "gateway drug". Can't you fools see that EVERYONE who drinks beer becomes involved in more dangerous drugs? Heroin, codeine, pennicillin, tetracycline, the list goes on and on! Stop the insanity! Drink enough beer that you won't *need* other drugs.
Maybe Elizabeth will come to this realization in the unavoidable "Satan
Internet" storyline. Liz gets an Internet account (while at the farm) and finds
the newsgroup "alt.drunken.bastards". Realizing what a great group of drunks
they are, she starts drinking heavily every night. This is easy since at the farm
Unky and Aunty go to bed at 6pm. A few local teens, namely Jethro, Mary-Lou, and
Bubba, become her drinking buddies, and they frequently post entertaining drunk adventure
and spew stories to a.d.b. Finally, Mike dials up his university account and uses
Deja News to see what silly, macrame-related questions Liz has been posting to Usenet.
Shocked at the graphic stories of vodka-draining and beer-swilling, he drives out
to the farm to give her a good chewing out, but *OH THE IRONY* is involved in an
accident with a drunk driver in which Rhetta is hopefully killed.
--
Canadian
DNRC POPE OF CAPITAL LETTERS, HPK