"Fruity Booze Weekend"

Hi all! Sorry to keep you in suspense the last couple weeks since I know you were all wondering where I was. =) My fucking internet provider ran me out of credits so I'd have to pay $2 an hour to post. Yeah right. Anyway, this weekend was most excellent.

Saturday night's planned entertainment involved a party at our friend Michele's house. You might not recognize the name Michele because every time I post a story involving her it also involves a lot of memory loss. This story is no exception, though it's much less entertaining.

Come to think, I don't really have a story. Point form time!

- arrived at 7pm as per Michele's wishes so we could help her finish setting stuff up. Michele's the one who DECORATES for parties. Simply awesome. Showed up with one beer since I was told refreshments would be provided. Oh baby were they ever. Quaffed the brew and was immediately offered a few shots of goldschlager by another early arriver. Then we opened the *** SIX GALLON BUCKET OF FRUIT PUNCH ** which contained *** LOTS OF 40 POUNDERS OF BOOZE ***

Yep, Michele had been collecting 40 pounders from the partygoers all week and this stuff was brutal. The worst part was that you COULD NOT taste the alcohol in the stuff, so I was skeptical at first. After 4 quick cups of the stuff I quickly was converted to fruityboozolism. Some drunken math gave me 12% as the alcohol content of this stuff, and it went down like fruit punch. Hell, it WAS fruit punch.

Around 8:30pm I'm well preserved and people start arriving. I know some of 'em, don't know some others. I annoy all of them (I'm great that way). Micah shows up with Lisa and his kid and two "boffers" -- long padded tubes you can use for swords! Cool! I try to show Micah my "drunken master" style of swordfighting, but he spoils the lesson by slicing off my appendages like I was part of a Ronco demonstration. Hmf. =)

Alas, Micah eventually had to leave. Luckily, the hockey game was ending on TV

-- we interrupt this post to remind the reader that the order of events here may be wrong. I could have been swordfighting while watching hockey, or playing hockey while watching swordfighting, for all I know. --

anyway, the Canucks were actually winning so that was a good excuse for more punch! Excellent! Unfortunately by this point the booze-soaked fruit pieces in the punch started tasting quite icky, I had quite a collection of nice fruit pieces by the end of hte night, and had some mysterious cantelope shards imbedded in my vest the next day.

It all becomes a blur at this point, folks. I apparently entertained the hell out of everyone there, and while I remember having lots of fun there were a couple of minor events I don't quite recall. Ah well, comme toujours n'est-ce pas. But in all, I was a picture of happy drunken bastardity up to the point where I conquered a living room chair and wisely elected to have a 90 minute snooze in a room full of 110 decibel music.

I was woken at 2:30am by my wife, who was laughing very hard. I checked my eyebrows and assorted appendages and found that everything was still happily attached -- YAY! =) Then we loaded up into Sally's aunt's car (she's 29, and just part o' the gang) and got shuttled home. Cool!

Even cooler was that we headed back up to Michele's the next day to collect our car and were given FOUR 2 litre bottles of fruity hooch! Thanks Michele and Chris!

BTW because I know you're all worried about Sally's genetic heritage now:

TOM AND IRENE (Sally's grandparents, Irene deceased, never drank much, Tom drinks like a fish) had kids named/aged (in order):
IRENE (approx. 45)
PAT (approx. 40)
CHRIS (approx. 35)
JIM (black sheep, approx. 45, doesn't come to parties)
JENNIFER (my mother in law, approx. 45)
SARAH (29)