So here we go with the answers from a total of 18 completed surveys. Some
people chose more than one answer to questions which should only have one.
In these cases each answer counted as a fraction of one i.e. 2 answers are
counted as 2 x 0.5
Percentages are given in brackets after the number of votes and may or may
not add up to 100 due to rounding and the amount of alcohol I consume while
writing this.
1. Sex
I thought I'd start with a nice easy question which wouldn't confuse too
many people.
Male 14 (78)
Other was chosen by one respondent who expanded the description as "male
with grievously under-used genitals and alcohol-induced tits". To
summarise, ADB is a bad place to go on the pull unless you're a chick who
likes drunk men (with or without tits).
2. Age
Fetus 1 (6)
The responses here indicate that a vast majority of ADB fall into the
age-range of "should know better".
3. Education
None
Now I was seriously impressed by this - even the respondent who answered
"school" managed 2 months of college and therefore could technically have
answered "college/university" since I deliberately didn't exclude drop-outs.
I left him/her in the "school" category though, since he/she should have
been smart enough to figure that out ;-)
4. Finances
Binks 2 (11)
Hmmm.... considering how well the average DB is educated, we're not
exactly rolling in money. I wonder where all that money could be going?
5. Amount of alcohol consumed per week in "units". One unit is half a pint
of beer, a glass of wine or a standard measure of spirits.
0
Many people gave multiple responses to this one to indicate "typical" weeks
and "heavy" weeks. The choice of limits at the lower end of the range were
no coincidence, as 1-20 indicates "healthy" drinking and 21-50 "dangerous"
drinking levels.
I was initially disappointed by those respondents whose
drinking was either "healthy" or only "dangerous" until I looked further
down their answers to the section on drugs. Suffice to say that many of you
are more than compensating for your comparitively meagre alcohol
consumption.
The majority are well over the "danger" level for alcohol consumption and
one respondent even considered his drinking to be worthy of "Shane
MacGowan" status. As a final note, those of us who have had to actually
measure our consumption by counsellors all know that estimations of
quantity drunk are usually about half of the actual intake.
Oh yeah, and I know the numbers don't add up on this one but they're close
and I'm fucked if I'm adding them up again.
6. Alcoholic drinks commonly consumed
Apologies for leaving cider and fortified wine off the list in the survey.
Beer 15 (83)
One respondent who I think we all know, answered "Weizen". This answer was
grouped with the others for "beer".
7. Have any of the following people told you to cut down on your drinking?
Doctor 9 (50)
There were numerous comments to the tune of partners and friends offering
such advice becoming ex-partners/friends. Unfortunately the most common
source of unwanted advice on drinking is harder to get rid of (legally).
8. Other substances tried
Cannabis 12 (67)
All of the above 4 (22) - not included in totals above
Other:
A good score (pun intended) for cannabis, and an honorable mention for the
22% who managed "all of the above". Oh, and I should mention that one
respondent had not tried *any* of the substances listed. If your employer
reads this newsgroup, you can pretend to be him/her.
9. Due to drink have you:
Been told by the police to go home 10 (56)
Well considering how much we all drink, we do a reasonable job of staying
out of trouble. Nah - not really. There was a noticeable correlation
between age and encounters with officers of the law. I'm sure the younger
members of the group will catch up.
10. I have been reading ADB for:
Less than a year 1 (6)
The more alert among you will notice that the above responses do not add up
to 18. That's because one respondent answered "WHAT IS IT?". I'm tempted to
name and shame this individual, but I promised to keep things confidential.
11. Which of the following have you done while drunk?
This was the question I was most looking forward to seeing the answers to.
Many people added answers of their own and these are prefixed by a dash.
Broken a computer 14 (78)
What can I say? no surprise at the 100% response to having passed-out, but
going to w*rk drunk proved amazingly popular. If your employer reads this
newsgroup, tell them you didn't respond to the survey.
83% had fallen off bar-stools which highlights a design weakness in these
items. There also appears to be a design weakness in cars, as 10 out of the
14 respondents who had driven cars while drunk had crashed them.
12. How do you think you are most likely to die?
Old-age/natural causes 3.5 (19)
One respondent argued that alcohol-induced medical conditions and accidents
while drunk fell under the definition of "natural causes". Many people
hedged their bets on this one, and picked more than one. Including one who
wasn't sure if they were immortal or not. This is one thing I think it's
very important to be 100% sure of.
13. Was this survey...?
Pointless and stupid 6 (33)
There were several comments about this, my favourite being "fucking
embarrassing"
Female 3 (17)
Other 1 (6)
0-15 0
16-25 3 (17)
26-35 5 (28)
36-45 9 (50)
46-55 0
56-65 0
>65 0
Not Telling 0
Don't Know 0
School 1 (6)
College/University 13 (72)
Post-graduate 3 (17)
Timo 1 (6)
Po' 8 (44)
Comfortable 8 (44)
Well-off 0
Millionaire 0
1-20 1.8 (10)
21-50 4.3 (24)
51-100 8 (44)
101-150 2 (11)
151-200 0.3 (2)
>200 0
Shane MacGowan 1 (6)
Cider 1 (6)
Wine 11 (61)
Fortified wine 1 (6)
Spirits 11 (61)
Meths 0
After-shave 0
Anti-freeze 0
All of the above 2 (11)
Family 16 (89)
Partner 10 (56)
Friend 10 (56)
Bartender 7 (39)
Shane MacGowan 1 (6)
Amphetamines 5 (28)
LSD 4 (22)
Magic Mushrooms 6 (33)
Cocaine 3 (17)
Heroin 0
Crack 0
Keith Richards 0
Morphine 1
Peyote 1
MDA 1
Meth 1
Nitrous 1
Pethidine 1
Codeine 2
Been taken home by police 6 (33)
Been arrested 5 (28)
Done time 1 (6)
I am currently a fugitive 2 (11)
1-2 years 7 (39)
3-4 years 7 (39)
5 years and over 2 (11)
-Fixed a computer 1
Driven a car 14 (78)
Crashed a car 10 (56)
Piloted a boat 9 (50)
Flown an aeroplane 0
Gone to w*rk 18 (100)
Lost control of a bodily function 13 (72)
Started a fight 11 (61)
Stripped naked 11 (61)
Got married 1 (6)
Fired a gun 8 (44)
Passed-out 18 (100)
Passed-out and had some body hair shaved off 3 (17)
Fallen off a bar stool 15 (83)
Had sex with someone inappropriate 10 (56)
Juggled Chainsaws 0
-Juggled Tarantulas 1
-Cut own hair 1
-Chop human-supported fruit with a sword 1
Alcohol-induced medical condition (eg cirrhosis) 6 (33)
Accident while drunk 5 (28)
Suicide 2 (11)
Eaten by cannibals 0
Immortal 1.5 (8)