ESIntergalactic


"I'm not from here, you know..."


Name:
'...trying to remember...'

Nickname:
E.S.InterGalactic

Designated Drinker:
Yes [webmaster's note: designated to drink things others won't]

Vital Information:

Born:
1955, in the back seat of a car-sized, round, silver, saucer-shaped object which crash landed somewhere near Amarillo, Texas...cattle mutilations began shortly thereafter.

Current Location:
On a wide, oftentimes surreal, eclectic orbit around Pluto occasionally beaming down to Earth in the central United States to check on the life I seem to be living there.

Height:
5'11"

Weight:
"Depends on each planet's gravity"

Eyes:
Brown

Hair:
Black

People that People Say I Look Like:
"Knute Rockne (A Famous American Football Player Who Played Without A Helmet) On Acid"

Blood Type:
80 proof

Current Calling:
"I was sent here to this Earth to fabopple...and having since discovered the mental envoko-alcho-significance, consume mass quantities of CHEAP AMERICAN BEER to achieve a drunken state of altered unconsciousness in order to understand the inner workings of human society. I plan to report my findings at a later date."

Favorite Beer:
"I can not honestly answer this question as it has occurred to me that I have yet to try them all."

Favorite Pub:
"Zorkas' Hoppin' Bar & Grille! Quaint little place on the outskirts of Mercury. Not heavily frequented, but is a great place for a long drink swiftly swallowed. "

Favorite Weapons:
"A witty remark, carefully-placed and followed by a well-timed retort. After that, run like hell...or, blame someone else, while struggling to get the beam-up function to work."

Alcohol Stash in House:
"I Mentally Telepathize Cheap American Beer To Me So That It Is Always At The Convenience Store When I Drive Home At Night. Amazingly, It Is Always There In My Fridge After I Bring It In."

DB Maxims:
"Wherever I find myself....boy, am I surprised!"

Cryptic Sign Currently On HouseDoor:
'This House Protected By An Attack Cat.

Pet Peeve:
"I never saw a peeve, does it cost much to feed it?"

Mating Call:
"My, you look beautiful tonight. So...what are your rates?"

Philosophy:
"Live Every Day Like It Is Your Last Because One Day...Cheap American Beer May Be Hard To Find."

Life's Ambition:
"To drink every Cheap American Beer they make. "

Read About:

"BoZo's Shaved Beaver"
"Super Secret Grog Functional Files"
"Drunken Christmas Carols"
ES InterGalactic's Cyber Journal

Email ESInterGalactic
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