WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring
story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN
!!!

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your pants.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse
with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu
powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and
see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't
remember).

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy
named FRANZ.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

---

April 06, 2001